tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post1134805051675033147..comments2024-02-21T08:58:09.518-08:00Comments on Her Bad Mother's Basement: Spiritually StuckHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-77336487217948068442009-02-15T03:45:00.000-08:002009-02-15T03:45:00.000-08:00Perhaps you just need to tell your husband that yo...Perhaps you just need to tell your husband that you need to do less at the church in order to keep yourself sane.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-54764803078425263152008-12-29T12:16:00.000-08:002008-12-29T12:16:00.000-08:00I'm so sorry that you're in this place. I grew up ...I'm so sorry that you're in this place. I grew up in the church and I can relate. <BR/><BR/>I don't know what to tell you except: The establishment of "the church" is not God and does not always speak for God, although they will often claim that this is the case and try to make you feel like a traitor if you don't go along. You may have to stand up to this and separate God from all the crap that jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00967156307632862683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-36286697950547482952008-12-27T16:30:00.000-08:002008-12-27T16:30:00.000-08:00Perhaps you are so busy "serving" that your physic...Perhaps you are so busy "serving" that your physical body is unable to feel a spiritual connection. Traveling, working, using all your energy dealing with people you do not like is sapping your strength to the point that there is not enough left to feel anything but tired. Instead of teaching or working attend a class for YOU, where someone will serve YOU. Then maybe you can feel again and Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-23890477607668447402008-12-15T03:43:00.000-08:002008-12-15T03:43:00.000-08:00Dear Soulsister, This is not a dark night of the s...Dear Soulsister, <BR/><BR/>This is not a dark night of the soul, this is transformational stuff. I know it's terrifying, I know, I KNOW. But girlfriend, it is time to JUMP! <BR/><BR/>There are women, lots and lots of women, who are going through this with you and who have been through this before you. It's a stormy sea, but it can be navigated and help is at hand. <BR/><BR/>Here are some maps:<BRAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-4768830593907557192008-12-13T20:13:00.000-08:002008-12-13T20:13:00.000-08:00This is the opposite of 'spiritually stuck'; this ...This is the opposite of 'spiritually stuck'; this is a holy moment. God is speaking to you right now. Listen to what the other commenters are saying. There is much, much more to spirituality than bowing down to excessive obligations imposed by your church, your family, and other church members. Tell the truth to your husband. Take care of yourself, or you will be unable to take care of Pretty Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00342833918614545778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-82536162223684013412008-12-12T15:41:00.000-08:002008-12-12T15:41:00.000-08:00It's so hard to be strong when the whole congregat...It's so hard to be strong when the whole congregation has their eye on you week in and week out.<BR/><BR/>I will echo the "talk to your husband" advice, but I know how difficult that might be. This may end up breaking some precious covenants you've both made in your choice faith. In any case, those covenants are important to your husband and on some level (maybe) they are important to you too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-29252534970758407872008-12-09T14:28:00.000-08:002008-12-09T14:28:00.000-08:00Be true to yourself.Be true to yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-18937680466482355212008-12-09T10:44:00.000-08:002008-12-09T10:44:00.000-08:00Not being a believer myself I do find it difficult...Not being a believer myself I do find it difficult to understand anything even basic about religion. It all seems like one big scary cult to me. With one big scary god telling me who why and what I should be doing. It's not like I don't naturally have morals.<BR/> <BR/>One thing I do know is that you can not live a lie. It will create resenment towards yourself, your husband, and your Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00242117999775244672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-19955049744861245212008-12-09T10:24:00.000-08:002008-12-09T10:24:00.000-08:00As many other people have said I think you need to...As many other people have said I think you need to talk to your husband. Explain that you're tired and you can't handle the time load.<BR/><BR/>I always said that I didn't need a Church to pray to God, God was everywhere and he always knew when I was talking to him. Church was just the place I proved it to everyone else.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-59923830155745141872008-12-08T22:01:00.000-08:002008-12-08T22:01:00.000-08:00I would talk to your husband, but maybe not come a...I would talk to your husband, but maybe not come at it from an all or nothing perspective. My husband and I have different beliefs, and a one-year-old, and so far we've been able to make it work. But we're jsut getting started in the big picture, and it may not work as well later.<BR/><BR/>But maybe you could talk to your husband about feeling... overwhelmed. Perhaps you could suggest cutting Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-59574814069320190432008-12-08T20:57:00.000-08:002008-12-08T20:57:00.000-08:00Oh, I hear ya! I've not been to church for quite ...Oh, I hear ya! I've not been to church for quite a while too. Luckily my husband agrees with how I feel.<BR/><BR/>You've gotta ask your husband what's more important...your relationship with God or the obligations at your church. If he thinks they're tied together...ask him how. And how did humanity and religion survive for centuries and centuries without these said obligations. And if theseAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-17180780455455825872008-12-08T17:37:00.000-08:002008-12-08T17:37:00.000-08:00OMG, I could have written this post. For real. I...OMG, I could have written this post. For real. I haven't been to our church since May. And I have been a very active member ever since I can remember. Our religion is very much a life style as well and I just can't figure out where I am with everything. *sigh* It's very complicated. In some ways I feel much better and like a burden has been lifted. But, in some ways I feel shame and guilt Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-76612003540314209502008-12-08T12:09:00.000-08:002008-12-08T12:09:00.000-08:00Ditto to Anonymous at 10:48am. You should tell yo...Ditto to Anonymous at 10:48am. You should tell your husband. He may be hurt and distraught, but if he's grown up with religion, he should know that God is okay with questions and doubts and fears. <BR/><BR/>Seems you need to take a break and figure out what you really believe and want from the church.All Things BDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15471290940963547810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-36142246413988891632008-12-08T10:48:00.000-08:002008-12-08T10:48:00.000-08:00You need to tell you husband. It may hurt him, bu...You need to tell you husband. It may hurt him, but he needs to know. You sound used up and burned out, and that is not the way a church should make you feel. If serving and worshipping feels like an obligation, it's not the right place for you to do it. It sounds like you need to take a step back and give yourself a break for a while. <BR/><BR/>God does not expect us to serve and socialize Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-8874357751239616212008-12-08T10:46:00.000-08:002008-12-08T10:46:00.000-08:00I grew up as an about average religious catholic. ...I grew up as an about average religious catholic. Went to church many Sundays. I even went to a religious university. I tried going to mass, but gave it up after about 5 weeks. Then I met a girl that shared my beliefs. We don't necessarily not believe in God, but we aren't going to live by some church's rules as I believe most churches are not honest with their members. I am totally contentAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-52160058968712826622008-12-08T09:50:00.000-08:002008-12-08T09:50:00.000-08:00I feel awful for you. My heart aches for you. Ha...I feel awful for you. My heart aches for you. Having been raised to be a born-agin Christian, I finally admitted to myself when I was in my early 20s that I didn't believe in a god or an afterlife. Since then, I have been so much happier and felt so free, making the best of every day that I have. That was nearly ten years ago. Some people close to me still don't know because I haven't found Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-86548206104258161292008-12-08T09:38:00.000-08:002008-12-08T09:38:00.000-08:00Dude, it def should not be that way and I understa...Dude, it def should not be that way and I understand where you're coming from. There is nothign worse thanbeing judged by the very people who should be the least judgemental. <BR/><BR/>Going to church should be something that is done out of desire, not because you're forced. Being pressured that way breeds resentment and defeats the purpose. <BR/><BR/>I will pray for God to lighten your load....Mrs. Casehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11019377557104114920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-67454983014239819012008-12-08T09:22:00.000-08:002008-12-08T09:22:00.000-08:00I understand exactly how you feel. My X spouse an...I understand exactly how you feel. My X spouse and I live the exact same situation with a few differences. <BR/><BR/>He was not raised in church and I was. I was so battared from extreme religious views that I was not expecting that in my adult life. He got into it as well and it was the same as before for me. I was constantly made to satisfy his needs by being the church wife that he wanted Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15397000420692626687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-33221480518011975792008-12-08T09:03:00.000-08:002008-12-08T09:03:00.000-08:00Wow. I once was a closeted non-believer. I was luc...Wow. I once was a closeted non-believer. I was lucky enough to find a partner with the same beliefs before I ended up in the situation you describe. My mother wanted to hold "meetings" to help free me from the devil...but she eventually gave up when I had support that I was not a crazy person - I just didn't share her beliefs. I feel free. But you're in a more complicated situation. There are Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-11927679242656770692008-12-08T08:58:00.000-08:002008-12-08T08:58:00.000-08:00Oh, I feel you. I was raised a certain religion th...Oh, I feel you. I was raised a certain religion that is very much a lifestyle. I went to the religious college, the whole nine yards. I tried talking myself into believing it because I thought my life would be easier if I could just play along. Turns out I was giving myself ulcers from the stress of pretending. I left the church, and there were some bumps in the road, but people got over it. I Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-45917835181559922232008-12-08T08:41:00.000-08:002008-12-08T08:41:00.000-08:00I can feel your pain. My husband has been in minis...I can feel your pain. My husband has been in ministry for the past 10 years. He was forced to resign from his job back in Aug. Frankly I am glad. I no longer have to put on a happy face and be at church every time the doors are open. I am relieved that I don't have to pretend to have it all together. <BR/><BR/>I love the Lord and I love to serve Him. I am just so glad that I can now serve Him on Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com