tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post115256903672327199..comments2024-02-21T08:58:09.518-08:00Comments on Her Bad Mother's Basement: Shoulda coulda wouldaHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1152726092575862212006-07-12T10:41:00.000-07:002006-07-12T10:41:00.000-07:00I agree with those above - fantasy is fantasy. I t...I agree with those above - fantasy is fantasy. I think the comment about lack of closure has something valid about it, as well as the fact that it is one of those opportunities for "what ifs." Don't we all have some sort of "what is" we like to turn over in our head? <BR/><BR/>I think as it is, this isn't really harmful. It's not like you ARE tempting fate by going out for those long solo luncheskittenpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05215443551546036909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1152719201431330702006-07-12T08:46:00.000-07:002006-07-12T08:46:00.000-07:00yeah, before child--i've actually been there too. ...yeah, before child--i've actually been there too. and for a short while it was amazing, and then i missed my husband.<BR/><BR/>and i can say, that i do not regret it all. at the time, as i was considering if i still wanted to be married, where my life was going, it was exactly what i needed, it was thrilling and taught me a lot about myself and my relationship.<BR/><BR/>it also taught me that Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1152718087491339682006-07-12T08:28:00.000-07:002006-07-12T08:28:00.000-07:00Hear it from a single young woman:- it is only a f...Hear it from a single young woman:<BR/><BR/>- it is only a fantasy. Jay is not who you think he could, would have been. I mean a loving man, like your husband.<BR/><BR/>The comfort, closeness and love that you share with your husband, trust me, cannot happen with anyone else.<BR/><BR/>I have tried that over and over again. Went back to those people that I thought liked me and sounded dreamy to meAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1152715714255855432006-07-12T07:48:00.000-07:002006-07-12T07:48:00.000-07:00Fantasy is fantasy. As a few people have commented...Fantasy is fantasy. As a few people have commented above - the real thing probably wouldn't measure up. I've been there. The person was actually not someone that I would have wanted to have a life with, but I enjoyed the sexual tension for a time. And sexual tension is something that usually disappears from a marriage - especailly a good marriage, because what is there to be tense about?<BR/><BR/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1152702243521165642006-07-12T04:04:00.000-07:002006-07-12T04:04:00.000-07:00ME too. I have one of these too. In fact when I am...ME too. I have one of these too. In fact when I am having a stressful day and can't fall asleep (which is almost everyday), I evoke that fantasy to quiet my mind. I fall asleep everyday thinking of another man. A man who in reality would never measure up to the fantasy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1152655634081840252006-07-11T15:07:00.000-07:002006-07-11T15:07:00.000-07:00It doesn't make you trashy to play with maybes and...It doesn't make you trashy to play with maybes and might-haves in your mind.<BR/>It doesn't make you a bad person to think about what could have been different in your life.<BR/>No life is perfect, and sometimes reality is too hard, and a fantasy is a wonderful thing to escape to when life is just tougher than you can take and you are lonely.<BR/>But, having said all that - don't get so sucked Melhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07332126804455557046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1152647190675932612006-07-11T12:46:00.000-07:002006-07-11T12:46:00.000-07:00I love this. I have one who got away and I drag h...I love this. I have one who got away and I drag him out every once in a while for a lovely fantasy. But then I snap back into reality and imagine that he probably leaves his shoes in the hall and forgets to put the milk away too. ...sigh....<BR/><BR/>I actually WAS the one who got away. I used to hear from him every once in a while and we would meet for lunch. He was married and settled and IMiguelitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10134489935342720776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1152638624886182462006-07-11T10:23:00.000-07:002006-07-11T10:23:00.000-07:00I recently reconnected with the man That I was in ...I recently reconnected with the man That I was in love with 16 years ago. We are both married. We talked for a couple of months...sometimes, but It got too hard. The longing, for both of us, became palpable. Thank God we don't live close enough to each other, or we would have ended up in a hotel room somewhere.<BR/><BR/>While I can't say "don't look him up", I can say - Be ready for what it stirsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1152633131723376722006-07-11T08:52:00.000-07:002006-07-11T08:52:00.000-07:00I must say my heart was racing while reading this....I must say my heart was racing while reading this. When you said he kissed you I literally almost yelled "Noooooo" to my computer. The way you told this story was kind of evil. :-) <BR/>I don't think you should torture yourself over this. I'm sure it is something that you want out of your head b/c it is making you feel really guilty. I think this is a "closure" issue. There was no closure Silly Hilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11381085189763136258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1152631188107128492006-07-11T08:19:00.000-07:002006-07-11T08:19:00.000-07:00Me too, I have those shoulda, coulda, woulda momen...Me too, I have those shoulda, coulda, woulda moments way too many times! You aren't alone and I'm glad you express your feelings on this blog. Some days I'm happy with my husband, some days I'm not and wish I could be somewhere else dating other men. I married too young at 19 years old. Well that says it all - 'I married too young" I really missed out a lot of things. One of my close friend told Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1152629843835651982006-07-11T07:57:00.000-07:002006-07-11T07:57:00.000-07:00Oh god do I ever hear you, I have one of those, I ...Oh god do I ever hear you, I have one of those, I do see him from time to time and we joke about what could have been. The times I want to leave my current situation I dream about making a new life with him and then I realise that my son's father is too important to him to take him away and be raised by someone else. I guess everyone has "one that got away" thanks for sharing your story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com