tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post115586043425059252..comments2024-02-21T08:58:09.518-08:00Comments on Her Bad Mother's Basement: AlbatrossHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1156157975327194712006-08-21T03:59:00.000-07:002006-08-21T03:59:00.000-07:00I just want to let you know that there is hope. My...I just want to let you know that there is hope. My husband and I have been married for about 15 years, and we had this very same problem. There are two things that got us through it. <BR/><BR/>1. Communication. Men and women think of sex differently. For women, emotional intimacy leads to physical intimacy. I explained to him that a variety of factors (not enough help with children and household Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1156093590173841072006-08-20T10:06:00.000-07:002006-08-20T10:06:00.000-07:00Wow everyone....Thanks....I mean it thanks...You h...Wow everyone....<BR/>Thanks....I mean it thanks...<BR/>You have given me some great fodder to help me formulate a 'talk'<BR/><BR/>He did apologize for that night....but wouldn't discuss it further..only saying that the whole thing was HIS fault.<BR/><BR/>So maybe it just takes a long time for things to sink in!!!<BR/><BR/>This is our one BIG issue....it arrises on a schedule based on his 'cycle' Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1156039233549422542006-08-19T19:00:00.000-07:002006-08-19T19:00:00.000-07:00As the one with the higher drive, I can understand...As the one with the higher drive, I can understand his underlying frustration, but he is, as others have said, going about it all wrong. <BR/><BR/>Instead of pressure and bitching about how you never have time or energy, he should help you with your tasks so you might have some time or energy left. <BR/><BR/>Instead of talking about how he's in the mood, he should help you get there. <BR/><BR/>kittenpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05215443551546036909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1156025721025367832006-08-19T15:15:00.000-07:002006-08-19T15:15:00.000-07:00I also wanted to say how sorry I am you are going ...I also wanted to say how sorry I am you are going through this.crazymummahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04663148723513574331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1156025323762293152006-08-19T15:08:00.000-07:002006-08-19T15:08:00.000-07:00How do I say this...he sounds like he has a bit of...How do I say this...he sounds like he has a bit of a mean streak....try counselling, he does need a reality check about his behaviour. If his behaviour and attitude do not change, you might need to find a way out, you should not have to live with that tyranny of emotion. Good Luck.<BR/>PS. We went thru some major stuff ourselves, and went thru counselling. Many couples do and should not be crazymummahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04663148723513574331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1155975631629886702006-08-19T01:20:00.000-07:002006-08-19T01:20:00.000-07:00You need counseling. If his reaction to a no is t...You need counseling. If his reaction to a no is to throw things and pout all day, he has some major problems that will only continue to get worse. You are NOT his sex slave. With his threats it makes me wonder if he hasn't already gone and hired a prostitute at some point, justifying it as you are a prude (which you are NOT).<BR/><BR/>This is a HUGE issue and can destroy your marriage. If he Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1155958173281297602006-08-18T20:29:00.000-07:002006-08-18T20:29:00.000-07:00Have you ever seen the movie Annie Hall? Diane Ke...Have you ever seen the movie Annie Hall? Diane Keaton and Woody Allen are dating and they both see shrinks. There is a split screen scene with both of them talking to their doctors. The drs. both ask "How often do you have sex?" Diane Keaton says, "All the time, three times a week." And Woody Allen says, "Hardly ever, three times a week." <BR/><BR/>I think every relationship has this Annie, The Evil Queenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16585283486191306521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1155927379823818782006-08-18T11:56:00.000-07:002006-08-18T11:56:00.000-07:00I think you should tell your husband flat out that...I think you should tell your husband flat out that threatening to go solicit a hooker's services is the exact opposite of behavior that will get him laid. Tell him that you cannot possibly be turned on while imagining his desire to have sex with a skanky ho. Tell him if he even <I>hints</I> at the idea of sleeping with a prostitute in your presence again, he will not get laid for a month. <BR/><Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1155913386840898872006-08-18T08:03:00.000-07:002006-08-18T08:03:00.000-07:00My husband and I have the same issues. His sex dr...My husband and I have the same issues. His sex drive is way higher than my own and when he thinks there is a chance that he might "get some" its all he can talk about all day which totally turns me off. Basically if he expects it, I don't want to do it. I prefer sex to be a more spontaneous kind of thing, rather than having to do it because it has been x number of days since the last time. WeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1155910736780950112006-08-18T07:18:00.000-07:002006-08-18T07:18:00.000-07:00It seems to me from your telling of it that all th...It seems to me from your telling of it that all the sex was aimed at his pleasure, i.e. BJs in the car and gettin' some and woo hoo hoo! He didn't even stop to consider that you said you weren't feeling very well. Not to mention it was YOUR birthday! He seems to be doing an awful lot of taking, and I bet you'd have been happier to oblige if he'd taken the time to treat you respectfully. It's Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1155874021888953382006-08-17T21:07:00.000-07:002006-08-17T21:07:00.000-07:00I have the same problem with my husband. I hate i...I have the same problem with my husband. I hate it when he thinks that a night out to dinner and a movie that I "dress up" for (put makeup on basically) automatically warrants sex. And I hate when all he can talk about is sex during dinner and has a boner the whole night. It is that entitlement hanging over me like a huge dark cloud and it makes me so mad. Usually I refuse sex just to piss Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1155871113583502922006-08-17T20:18:00.000-07:002006-08-17T20:18:00.000-07:00This seems like it should be a fixable problem. Y...This seems like it should be a fixable problem. You said that it's not "romance" you need - it's a more fundamental removal of the "or else" hanging over your head. And if it's possible to get him to see how much that "or else" inhibits you sexually, there may be some hope there for a change. (Not to mention taking the whole hooker thing right off the table. Not even as an empty threat, not Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1155870580703775442006-08-17T20:09:00.000-07:002006-08-17T20:09:00.000-07:00Men get close by having sex. Women want to have s...Men get close by having sex. Women want to have sex when they feel close. It's a bit dichotomous, but it just requires some give and take on both parts.<BR/><BR/>You're doing a lot of giving, and it doesn't sound like he's doing much. He needs to know that you need to feel as if your needs matter to him before you'll feel close enough to him to have sex. It's not that you don't want him or Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1155869369740065152006-08-17T19:49:00.000-07:002006-08-17T19:49:00.000-07:00He needs to learn how to truly romance a woman. D...He needs to learn how to truly romance a woman. Doing the dishes, helping around the house more, saying loving things all with no expectation of getting anything in return. I was a virgin when I got married so it was a hard transition to make. I am still a little annoyed by the fact that my husband thinks that he can get it any time he wants just because we are married. We are slowly growing Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1155862800454783112006-08-17T18:00:00.000-07:002006-08-17T18:00:00.000-07:00If you have different wants regarding the frequenc...If you have different wants regarding the frequency and acts surrounding sex, you need to talk about it. NOT in the heat of a fight, NOT when you're about to have sex, NOT afterwards. It needs to be a neutral time in a neutral place (the kitchen, say). If you can't come to an agreement (please don't talk and talk and talk about it all day because that really turns me off, if I say I'm feeling chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11785505580253953896noreply@blogger.com