tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post4908957531567213901..comments2024-02-21T08:58:09.518-08:00Comments on Her Bad Mother's Basement: Nanna's HellHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-28823451609847803042009-10-19T19:41:54.294-07:002009-10-19T19:41:54.294-07:00First of all GOOD FOR YOU for seeing this for what...First of all GOOD FOR YOU for seeing this for what it is and for defending your Nanna. Too many people sit by, watch abuse and sweep it under the rug (like your extended family seems to be doing) so I am very proud of you for being so passionate about getting her out of a horrible situation. <br /><br />Secondly, you are absolutely not childish or selfish. Watching someone hurt and being upset Jamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05618231128475803247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-35919793060163525522009-10-16T10:08:02.689-07:002009-10-16T10:08:02.689-07:00The way I see it, when she took you into her confi...The way I see it, when she took you into her confidence, she violated the boundaries that normally exist between a Grandma and her grandbabies, therefore giving you the right to tell her what you think and how you feel.<br /><br />Please don't turn your back on her, though. You'll regret it when you lose her. You may be the one person she feels safe talking to and that may mean that if verybadcathttp://cattails.menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-34518759123800612722009-10-16T09:53:26.885-07:002009-10-16T09:53:26.885-07:00I don't think feelings are a matter of right o...I don't think feelings are a matter of right or wrong. You feel what you feel, and should not apologize for that. <br /><br />I am so sorry to hear what your grandmother and what you have gone through. No one else has walked in your grandmother's shoes, so I hope there is a special place in Hell for the Pastor who told her to go back to that horrible situation.<br /><br />I hope that Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-54175190069888372252009-10-16T09:28:11.821-07:002009-10-16T09:28:11.821-07:00You are RIGHT. They are all WRONG. Know this, beli...You are RIGHT. They are all WRONG. Know this, believe this. Tell your grandma that wherever you live, she is always welcome to come stay. Explain to her that you know she did what she felt she had to, and you hope she'll choose to leave again.<br /><br />I hope your dad continues building that addition. <br /><br />I would not have anything to do with those shitty relatives ever again.Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10931380770342598889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-39198461245710792652009-10-15T13:33:32.772-07:002009-10-15T13:33:32.772-07:00What that pastor did actually is more common than ...What that pastor did actually is more common than you know. My best friend was threatened with being cut off from her church by her pastor because she was divorcing her cheating, verbally abusive husband. <br /><br />Your Grandmother was raised in an era where things were very different for women --they were raised to be "peacemakers" and "do anything to hold the marriage Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-54514864995514074042009-10-15T12:00:50.230-07:002009-10-15T12:00:50.230-07:00Wow, her going back has to be the saddest thing I&...Wow, her going back has to be the saddest thing I've heard... and shame Shame SHAME on those family members - and ESPECIALLY that "man of God" who tormented her with their own lies and abuse and forced her back in! I agree with the others that she neeeds you now more than ever.<br /><br />And I wish there was a way you could report that pastor to his church superiors... what he didMbdiamondhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11001369595331195115noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-87781736588402162552009-10-15T10:31:44.828-07:002009-10-15T10:31:44.828-07:00I'm not sure if they have something like this ...I'm not sure if they have something like this where you live, but through our County Office on Aging there's a thing called Adult Protective Services. They investigate elder abuse...I'm not sure if spousal abuse would be included, but it might be. And if not, they should be able to provide you with some referrals to agencies that could help.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-14746536060526635362009-10-15T09:42:33.684-07:002009-10-15T09:42:33.684-07:00I think that you need to talk to someone, a profes...I think that you need to talk to someone, a professional, that helps people in abusive situations. I don't know where you live, or what resources are around you IRL, but first, you need to check out Violence Unsilenced. <br />http://violenceunsilenced.com/<br /><br />They have Wednesday Q&As about how you can help people in abusive situations. I know you love your Grandma, and want to Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-89230761747860615552009-10-15T09:38:55.649-07:002009-10-15T09:38:55.649-07:00please check out the www.violenceunsilenced.complease check out the www.violenceunsilenced.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-70245782707811162832009-10-15T09:10:29.755-07:002009-10-15T09:10:29.755-07:00Wow. Just wow. My mother lived much of that (nev...Wow. Just wow. My mother lived much of that (never the physical abuse, just the mental "you're not good enough" bullshit) and she never did leave. He died a year before she did, and she claimed it to be the best year of her life. "I'm finally free to do what I want," she would say. But then cancer took her as well...<br /><br />All I can say is...this isn't Candyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14070433904661239686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-11766612611702132072009-10-15T07:29:21.079-07:002009-10-15T07:29:21.079-07:00You have every reason to feel as you do. But plea...You have every reason to feel as you do. But please don't cut her out of your life. She's been put down like this for sooo many years that it's almost impossible for her to keep courage and be strong. And when you talk to her..keep encouraging her to leave. Let her know that your still there..as that memory of those 9 weeks of freedom are going to stick and hopefully and with lot&Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-24533548139505368172009-10-15T07:27:49.132-07:002009-10-15T07:27:49.132-07:00You aren't selfish at all. You clearly care a...You aren't selfish at all. You clearly care about her and appear to be the only one who is willing to stand up for what you believe. <br /><br />Her story sounds like so many others that end in tragedy. She is going through horrible abuse, nit just at the hands of your grandfather, but at the hands of everyone else who either refuses to see it and blames her, or see it but don't want Ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00684328990767140199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-64212257711942541532009-10-15T07:21:12.229-07:002009-10-15T07:21:12.229-07:00You don't sound childish or self centered at a...You don't sound childish or self centered at all. You are concerned for the well being of someone you love.<br /><br />I hope that somehow you can find some peace. Just know you did what you could in trying to help your nanna. In the end you can't help someone who doesn't want to take it.<br /><br />Good luckAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com