tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post5809419122631133575..comments2024-02-21T08:58:09.518-08:00Comments on Her Bad Mother's Basement: BrokenHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-31087195330443620972009-11-23T06:35:20.546-08:002009-11-23T06:35:20.546-08:00Someone wrote about you basically calling you a li...Someone wrote about you basically calling you a liar on many of these points.<br /><br />http://kaisermommy.com/2009/08/14/you-were-always-enough/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-85265607119218021912009-03-18T17:19:00.000-07:002009-03-18T17:19:00.000-07:00Your writing is heartbreaking and beautiful, and w...Your writing is heartbreaking and beautiful, and when one of us survivors goes public with our abuse, it is like a win for us all. Good for you for saying it out loud, and typing it in here. You are strong and getting stronger every day, and your power is in your truth.<BR/><BR/>www.reasonsyoushouldntfuckkids.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-29836281901552119102009-03-16T16:42:00.000-07:002009-03-16T16:42:00.000-07:00You don't owe him anything. You do not have to ca...You don't owe him anything. You do not have to care for him, be his power of attorney, you do not. <BR/><BR/>You owe you. You owe it to yourself to work through the horrible things that happened to you. You owe yourself the best therapy, the best environment, the safest places. Press on. You can feel safe.Pamelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13652737346135197054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-47410486674348486522009-03-16T15:35:00.000-07:002009-03-16T15:35:00.000-07:00I know. And there are others out there who know. ...I know. And there are others out there who know. And it's okay, it's all so fresh and pressing right now but it can get better. Keep sharing your story. Networking with other survivors can be healing. RAINN.org is a great resource. <BR/>If you can do it, cut him out and anyone else you need to get away from.Just Vegashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09851077598314983920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-11731656128154234932009-03-16T13:46:00.000-07:002009-03-16T13:46:00.000-07:00What happened to you is really terrible and it's g...What happened to you is really terrible and it's great that you are seeking help, you should definitely stick with that.<BR/><BR/>As for the POA, you do not have be his power of attorney. It is not your legal obligation to act on his behalf. He chose you, you did not sign up. Just refuse to act, he will then have to appoint someone else.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-80565696919748030042009-03-16T07:51:00.000-07:002009-03-16T07:51:00.000-07:00I was also sexually abused as a child. But not fro...I was also sexually abused as a child. But not from my father, from my grandfather. He died when I was 11, but I still, to this day, suffer from panic attacks when I try to sleep anywhere but home(I am 32 now). So I hate to travel because of him. These men are the sickest of sick. They have no idea (or don't care) that they are scarring children for life. I would try to make the state handle him Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-40624122976872953202009-03-14T15:23:00.000-07:002009-03-14T15:23:00.000-07:00you owe this ass nothing. give a lawyer the power...you owe this ass nothing. give a lawyer the power of attourney and be done with it.Shellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03159550437519461534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-19885139650638144502009-03-14T00:45:00.000-07:002009-03-14T00:45:00.000-07:00Let me correct you on something...you don't owe hi...Let me correct you on something...you don't owe him shit. You do not have to take care of him. It isn't your responsibility.flutterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11828689769747130419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-56804462738218349952009-03-13T22:14:00.000-07:002009-03-13T22:14:00.000-07:00I agree with everyone else who says cut him out of...I agree with everyone else who says cut him out of your life. Let him be sick. Let him figure out how to take care of himself. He is, after all, an adult. <BR/><BR/>You are under no obligation to him. He was never a real father to you. He made a CHOICE, a choice to ruin his relationship with you. And he continues to make that choice, over and over again, every single day that he does not come Jaelithehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12081888212421953409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-42788289927542453982009-03-13T22:06:00.000-07:002009-03-13T22:06:00.000-07:00There is a new website up called Violence Unsilenc...There is a new website up called Violence Unsilenced, where people are sharing their stories of domestic abuse and violence; you might benefit from sharing this there, too.<BR/><BR/>http://violenceunsilenced.comToo Many Brain Tabshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03917359471701204609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-33877673887379939592009-03-13T13:44:00.000-07:002009-03-13T13:44:00.000-07:00first step is the hardest, saying it out loud to s...first step is the hardest, saying it out loud to someone...<BR/>keep up w the Therapy..it will do worlds of good..<BR/><BR/>I dealt with similar things, and it took me well in to my 20's to come to terms with it..now I am a STRONG woman, as you will be too. <BR/><BR/>DO NOT let your mother guilt you..do not let your father guilt you, cut your ties if that is what you gave to do..and no you do NOTTiffi33https://www.blogger.com/profile/04014269732603003638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-31796783156149432192009-03-13T12:30:00.000-07:002009-03-13T12:30:00.000-07:00Wow, that was nearly like reading my own story. I'...Wow, that was nearly like reading my own story. I'm sure yours is worse than you are saying - and mine was worse, too. I was expected to take care of my parents when they got old - and decided not to do it. I became the 'bad child' and still have 2 brothers that won't talk to me - at least you don't have that to worry about. When my dad died, I was so relieved that I had to concentrate hard not Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-76818783374802315032009-03-13T11:39:00.000-07:002009-03-13T11:39:00.000-07:00If you have a good therapist, that's great. You m...If you have a good therapist, that's great. You might also want to consider one that has worked with sexual trauma and PTSD. There are different treatment options, but exposure therapy has been very effective for women who have been raped, abused and have had to live with this torment for years. It's very hard work, but a very solid and empirically supported way for you to help heal. My Little Monkieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04900534132035538470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-31801549295047873372009-03-13T09:17:00.000-07:002009-03-13T09:17:00.000-07:00It is okay to feel what you do, and it is okay to ...It is okay to feel what you do, and it is okay to be scared. You are so brave, not only for what you've had to endure, but for putting it into words.<BR/><BR/>You didn't deserve this at all, and it is in no way your fault. I wish you the best, and that you continue to be strong in talking about this with your therapist.Staci Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02922444419132476114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-27578385657633768052009-03-13T08:51:00.000-07:002009-03-13T08:51:00.000-07:00You were a CHILD. His job was to protect you. No...You were a CHILD. His job was to protect you. Not abuse you. It was not your fault. It IS NOT your fault. My heart hurts for you. I hope that you can continue the therapy and that your therapist is a good one. She can probably help you explore alternatives to being the power of attorney for your family. States have resources for that and your healing is more important than he is. It's MissAnnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10626833542261162607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-1653566014197295542009-03-13T05:09:00.000-07:002009-03-13T05:09:00.000-07:00I can't keep you safe, or tell you that it's going...I can't keep you safe, or tell you that it's going to be OK. It will take a lot of work to be OK, but you have already started on that path.<BR/><BR/>The most I can tell you is that you have every right to feel the way you do. And every right to make whatever decisions work best for you. For most of your life, your choices were taken away from you by a predator. You have those rights back now....Avalonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12717171111059212946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-29559419464425445792009-03-13T04:47:00.000-07:002009-03-13T04:47:00.000-07:00I'm sorry for all that you have been through. This...I'm sorry for all that you have been through. <BR/><BR/>This is going to sound harsh but you should leave. Cut them out of your life. Go somewhere else and give yourself space to heal. I am quite a bit older and just had the strength to cut my abusive father out of my life. I have never felt so good. Such a burden has been lifted.<BR/><BR/>Best of luck to you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-42008302758407135132009-03-13T03:06:00.000-07:002009-03-13T03:06:00.000-07:00This is horrible; I'm so terribly sorry for what y...This is horrible; I'm so terribly sorry for what you went through. You have to know that this was NOT your fault; you were a little child!<BR/><BR/>As for your father, you DON'T have to take care of him. Or your mother for that matter if she refuses to respect your need for space. Your mental health trumps his medical issues in this case by a long shot. Tell them both you're out, he'll haveAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-86552271671245575462009-03-12T21:21:00.000-07:002009-03-12T21:21:00.000-07:00I'm so sorry. It just makes me sick that this kind...I'm so sorry. It just makes me sick that this kind of thing can happen to little kids. Or to anyone, really. It wasn't your fault. Please don't ever think that. It was NOT your fault. I hope you find strength in sharing and continue to talk to your therapist so you can begin to heal.Rachaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00318376427752604367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-2890152369483121992009-03-12T20:50:00.000-07:002009-03-12T20:50:00.000-07:00Oh god your story just breaks my heart. You shoul...Oh god your story just breaks my heart. You should have been protected and you weren't. It must have been terrifying and it must be terrifying now. I hope you find those hugs and that protection, and I feel such incredible sorrow that you were denied so much and hurt so badly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-20644998282263406092009-03-12T20:40:00.000-07:002009-03-12T20:40:00.000-07:00I want to echo others' comments - please keep talk...I want to echo others' comments - please keep talking it out. My mother was in your shoes many, many years ago. She was the oldest daughter, and he started with her, then moved on to her younger sisters in turn. She kept her secret for many years, burying it with work and family. When she finally retired at 74 years of age, she couldn't hide from it any more, and suffered many of the symptomsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-75833189613243525402009-03-12T20:13:00.000-07:002009-03-12T20:13:00.000-07:00It is NOT your fault. You were just a child, pleas...It is NOT your fault. You were just a child, please don't blame yourself. You did not ask for it, and no one deserves to be abused. It is awful that a father could do this to his child. I think it's really normal to blame yourself, but the blame solely lies on your father's shoulders.<BR/><BR/>Is it possible to have a lawyer appointed as his Power of Attorney? I think for your healing to start Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-38023119993548274062009-03-12T20:10:00.000-07:002009-03-12T20:10:00.000-07:00I echo mamalang... keep talking about it... keep g...I echo mamalang... keep talking about it... keep getting it out. please don't hold in that kind of vile sickness... let it out... keep spitting it out. <BR/><BR/>as for taking care of him or cutting him out of your life... that decision is entirely up to you. it's hard to show someone respect when they so viciously disrespected you... you can do either though... you are strong enough to walk Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-15442623524110438422009-03-12T20:08:00.000-07:002009-03-12T20:08:00.000-07:00The biggest thing I want to say to you is to keep ...The biggest thing I want to say to you is to keep going to therapy. Find a safe place and put yourself back together. It will take time, but you will feel better, and you will heal. I promise. <BR/><BR/>Been there done that.<BR/><BR/>Hugs to you.Pollyannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13746802517039945488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-80474033209845999522009-03-12T19:28:00.000-07:002009-03-12T19:28:00.000-07:00It is okay to feel this way, and it is okay to be ...It is okay to feel this way, and it is okay to be scared. But you have taken steps to make it be okay. Not that what he did will ever be okay, but making it so you can be okay. Whatever you do, don't stop talking to the therapist. Virtual HUGS.Mamalanghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00200657325831762553noreply@blogger.com