tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post7686477685814024956..comments2024-02-21T08:58:09.518-08:00Comments on Her Bad Mother's Basement: Give Me Some CreditHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-73206264327633949212008-11-23T18:38:00.000-08:002008-11-23T18:38:00.000-08:00~~Writer of this post~~ i felt that some of the co...~~Writer of this post~~ i felt that some of the commenters were a bit harsh and that i needed to defend myself and tried to clear the picture abit. But it's not going to stop me from asking HBM to post something for me. And yes some were rude or whatever but there was others that made me feel better about it. I think my main problem was that it was already a fixed problem and that i hadnt made Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-52656081480132075182008-11-20T14:11:00.000-08:002008-11-20T14:11:00.000-08:00I think maybe the original comments I was referrin...I think maybe the original comments I was referring to have now been deleted. Is that right HBM? I am all for constructive feedback, I just didn't think that the tone of some of those comments was very constructive and unfortunately I think it made all the constructive feedback feel really judgemental (that's how I read it anyway). That was a real shame, I thought.<BR/><BR/>I just wanted to offerLouisa Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01504106677453816810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-50275740433498577022008-11-20T10:18:00.000-08:002008-11-20T10:18:00.000-08:00Anon 10:12 - if you felt bashed, you should have e...Anon 10:12 - if you felt bashed, you should have e-mailed me. I feel terribly that you or anyone might have had that experience. But I can't know what exactly any one poster wants to get out of the experience of posting here - do they just want unconditional support, or do they want feedback? Are they okay with dissenting opinion, or not? I am happy to moderate comments - or even turn them off - Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-27450053002506187182008-11-20T10:12:00.000-08:002008-11-20T10:12:00.000-08:00Just a note to say that when my post was published...Just a note to say that when my post was published a while back, I felt very bad about some of the comments. I, too, thought this was a place where we could vent and get some support.<BR/>I felt bashed and stupid for my feelings.<BR/>I learned long ago that if I don't like something I don't have to read it.<BR/>so I am taking HBMB off my feedreader.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-69771254391775984952008-11-20T05:58:00.000-08:002008-11-20T05:58:00.000-08:00Louisa, Anonymous - I do try to maintain the safet...Louisa, Anonymous - I do try to maintain the safety of this place as best I can (see my comment above) and monitor comments for nastiness. But it's also a space for constructive feedback, and there are times when it's a difficult call as to whether comments should be deleted or not. BECAUSE most writers want honest feedback, I err on the side of caution, and tend to only delete when comments areHer Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-17802686337925634672008-11-20T01:38:00.000-08:002008-11-20T01:38:00.000-08:00OMG Thank YOU Louisa!!!I had a really hard time tr...OMG Thank YOU Louisa!!!<BR/><BR/>I had a really hard time trying to put some light on the subject...and i felt angry and defence about even putting my post up. Thank you very much for making me feel better about having it posted. And just being understanding and respectful :D <BR/><BR/>And i hope my training pre-kids is as helpful :D I also feel that i would have a better appreciation when i am aAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-55479937067157503252008-11-19T20:55:00.000-08:002008-11-19T20:55:00.000-08:00Ok, I'm sorry to interrupt but I thought the point...Ok, I'm sorry to interrupt but I thought the point of the Basement was to have a safe place to get things off your chest and to be <I><B>supported</B></I> by fellow bloggers? The comments by a couple of the Anonymous' (can't quite see how many, maybe 2 people?) have been quite rude and aggressive from the first and I think that's really unhelpful and inappropriate. <BR/><BR/>I am sure that if it Louisa Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01504106677453816810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-44049376634665106242008-11-19T11:03:00.000-08:002008-11-19T11:03:00.000-08:00I'm glad your sister is getting herself together a...I'm glad your sister is getting herself together as a parent.<BR/><BR/>When children are involved, boundaries can become unclear. In your house, if certain things are off limits, then it's your right to keep them that way.<BR/><BR/>Nobody wants to be told what to do. Advice can be taken or not taken, it's up to the recipient. If you do not like the fact that people do not follow your advice, I Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-8534516337960372582008-11-19T04:40:00.000-08:002008-11-19T04:40:00.000-08:00I think that even if you were a mother they wouldn...I think that even if you were a mother they wouldn't listen to you because as mothers we sometimes feel that we know how to handle the situation, and we don't care what anyone else has to say, whether they are the babysitter or another mother.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-10813995732054039022008-11-18T22:36:00.000-08:002008-11-18T22:36:00.000-08:00Vanessa- None of my suggestions when asked for adv...Vanessa- None of my suggestions when asked for advice on things was every said in a know it all way, rudely or anything. And i don't doubt that it seems like i have an attitude or anything on here... But i honestly think it's rediculous for anyone to base an opinion on just this rant. I wish i didn't send it to HBM or at least had the whole drawn out story to go with it. Because i feel like no Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-73684802288925195562008-11-18T22:26:00.000-08:002008-11-18T22:26:00.000-08:00As someone who doesn't have children, I understand...As someone who doesn't have children, I understand what you are saying. I worked with kids to put myself through college, and the parents would drop their kids off at 7 am and pick them up at 7 pm. I think it is a frustrating thing to see, and then to get dismissed, because you don't understand because "your not a mother".<BR/><BR/>On the other hand, because I don't have children I have no idea Em Levy {orange + barrel}https://www.blogger.com/profile/06204289191168242176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-65452193623917102272008-11-18T21:24:00.000-08:002008-11-18T21:24:00.000-08:00You may be a fantastic babysitter, and I don't thi...You may be a fantastic babysitter, and I don't think anyone's disputing that. But the saying "I was the greatest parent in the world...until I had kids" seems to apply. <BR/><BR/>Its hard taking advice from someone who thinks they know everything and their way is the only way. Have you considered that maybe your tone is offensive? If your advice was for me and was even half of the tone of this Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-21466313099830245432008-11-18T14:09:00.000-08:002008-11-18T14:09:00.000-08:00HBM here: there's sometimes - oftentimes - a lag o...HBM here: there's sometimes - oftentimes - a lag of some weeks between when a post is submitted and when it's posted. I get a LOT of submissions, and I don't turn anyway, AND I only post every two days, max, so there's usually a backlog. This post was received over a month and a half ago, so, yeah, the current story is probably different.<BR/><BR/>And please, everyone, remember: be nice. IF Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-6471906303775983512008-11-18T14:01:00.000-08:002008-11-18T14:01:00.000-08:00it was sent a while ago and HBM just put it up tod...it was sent a while ago and HBM just put it up today...she's been busy...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-63985961669144851302008-11-18T13:52:00.000-08:002008-11-18T13:52:00.000-08:00Well if the situation is resolved then what are yo...Well if the situation is resolved then what are you ranting for?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-8713551745474666192008-11-18T13:18:00.000-08:002008-11-18T13:18:00.000-08:00I think i need to make myself a little more clear ...I think i need to make myself a little more clear lol. Ok first of all....this happened a while ago and is all resolved.<BR/><BR/>Second, to my nephew. *having to do with the last part there* I took care of him, throughout the night, and through out the day. While his mother and him stayed with us. It was because i felt i had to, she wouldnt do anything. She would just sit there on her cell phoneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-83712795499493894042008-11-18T12:58:00.000-08:002008-11-18T12:58:00.000-08:00attitudes like mine?so what?? i have to keep my mo...attitudes like mine?<BR/><BR/>so what?? i have to keep my mouth shut and continue to be disrespected by my friends and treated like crap?<BR/><BR/>I wasn't just sitting there demanding they listen to me. I don't think anyones quite understanding whats being said here. I'm not just a babysitter who thinks she knows absolutely everything. I dont and i know that. But i do keep myself in the know Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-83863405884949498342008-11-18T12:49:00.001-08:002008-11-18T12:49:00.001-08:00I was the best darn parent in the world for years....I was the best darn parent in the world for years...<BR/><BR/>...and then I had children of my own. <BR/><BR/>Turns out I wasn't. But that doesn't mean I still don't know my kids better than anyone else.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-3887897109007655872008-11-18T12:49:00.000-08:002008-11-18T12:49:00.000-08:00I don't think they don't listen to you because you...I don't think they don't listen to you because you don't have kids. I think they don't listen because they want to believe they're the ONLY ones who can possibly know their kids and no one knows them better than they do, blah, blah, blah. Also, if you know something about their kids that they don't, well that would be like them admitting that they're not good parents. <BR/><BR/>Hey, I have two Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-58760437401612876002008-11-18T12:32:00.000-08:002008-11-18T12:32:00.000-08:00I thought I knew everything too when I was a babys...I thought I knew everything too when I was a babysitter. There's nothing like motherhood to teach you all that you don't know. <BR/><BR/>I think this is the hard thing about daycare. Daycare providers DO often spend more time w/ kids than parents...but parents PAY you to do a job and therefore remain in charge. That, and they're the parents. <BR/><BR/>Attitudes like yours are one of the Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-41989281899572718622008-11-18T11:35:00.000-08:002008-11-18T11:35:00.000-08:00I'm not just an angry babysitter....these are my f...I'm not just an angry babysitter....these are my friends. It's already fixed lol i don't babysit for them anymore, and i don't offer suggestions when they ask advice anymore. *with the one friend at the end there...she's still an idiot* And i'm not just saying like omg she doesnt listen to me, she does it her own way crap. She's just a down right idiot when it comes to being a mother and thats Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-43067295959319841912008-11-18T10:00:00.000-08:002008-11-18T10:00:00.000-08:00I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. Yo...I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. You love the children you take care of and it is hard when that love goes unacknowledged. One of my hardest realizations as a mother was learning that people are different. My husband and I love our children and discipline them in different ways. My daycare provider loves and disciplines my children in a way that isn't quite the way that I do it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com