tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post8478753303752815773..comments2024-02-21T08:58:09.518-08:00Comments on Her Bad Mother's Basement: God, ParentsHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-19343443440944253402009-03-18T08:57:00.000-07:002009-03-18T08:57:00.000-07:00I'm so sorry, it sounds like you're really having ...I'm so sorry, it sounds like you're really having a hard time with this.<BR/><BR/>I can commiserate, I'm dealing with the whole religion issue with my parents too. Every singel conversation it's brought up. I asked my dad once if he was able to have a conversation without talking about it with just talking to me about normal stuff so he could..you know maybe actually get to know ME but no...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-78000051543488503152009-01-19T14:28:00.000-08:002009-01-19T14:28:00.000-08:00My sister has also left the church. She, too, is t...My sister has also left the church. She, too, is to "inherit" my two girls if anything happens. I let her know that I wanted her to be their godmother, but because I respect her religious views, we call her their Fairy Godmother, and had a fill-in at the baptism. :) Please borrow our moniker if you'd like!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-81062592432797998882008-12-24T07:49:00.000-08:002008-12-24T07:49:00.000-08:00Technically a Godmother is just supposed to look o...Technically a Godmother is just supposed to look out for the spiritual well-being on the child...throughout the child's life, not in case of the parent's death. You are not equipped to do that...you do not BELIEVE the spiritual things, even if you know them...which is fine. Your sister should get paperwork written up that you will be the LEGAL GUARDIAN of your niece in case anything happens to Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-26326284282426476162008-12-22T07:41:00.000-08:002008-12-22T07:41:00.000-08:00Both of the people I would have asked to be God Pa...Both of the people I would have asked to be God Parents to my daughter...don't believe in God. They were happy to be ruled out. They are still the people who would raise her if anything happened.<BR/>Faith, ceremony, real life, practicality....not always on the same page...Arizaphalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11402602175460446158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-25989526930405540232008-12-15T10:36:00.000-08:002008-12-15T10:36:00.000-08:00I'm Jewish and I'm the godmother to my Catholic co...I'm Jewish and I'm the godmother to my Catholic cousin's daughter...the other godparent was Catholic so perhaps that's why it was allowed.<BR/><BR/>JulieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-52057069848250390302008-12-13T10:53:00.000-08:002008-12-13T10:53:00.000-08:00I understood that the godparent was a spiritual me...I understood that the godparent was a spiritual mentor, which, like Vanessa said, would be difficult (not impossible, but not easy either) if you don't believe or follow. But it doesn't sound like that's your sister's or the church's problem with you being the godmother.<BR/><BR/>That said, I've found that the Catholic church is filled to the brim with hyprocrisy and condescension. They have Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-39706233987631210532008-12-11T16:11:00.000-08:002008-12-11T16:11:00.000-08:00HOLY CRAP my husband and I went through this same ...HOLY CRAP my husband and I went through this same thing...we had to get married again produce all kinds of paperwork a shitload of unnecessary unspiritual brewhaha in the name of the "rules"...even with my husband and I being married ten years having three kids and him being all over hells half acre fighting whatever war the "commander in chief" saw fit to pick...Sickening...disgusting paper Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-44973756272638179172008-12-11T06:12:00.000-08:002008-12-11T06:12:00.000-08:00When our children were baptized in the Catholic ch...When our children were baptized in the Catholic church, only one of the godparents had to be Catholic. Would it be possible (even if it does feel like pretending) for your sister to find someone else in the family who was Catholic to be the godfather? Have you talked with the priest in your sister's parish? Perhaps he would have more answers for you and a way to help you deal with your anger.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-90805039040558845912008-12-10T20:30:00.000-08:002008-12-10T20:30:00.000-08:00We just had my son baptized and we wanted my siste...We just had my son baptized and we wanted my sister-in-law to be his Godmother, but she's not Catholic either. The priest we worked with said that was actually fairly common, and that she could still stand up with the baby but she would be called a Christian Witness. It's worth looking into--it may be a loophole that could work for both you and your sister. Good luck.PAMMIEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00186802575888803549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-27733163340193817412008-12-10T15:20:00.000-08:002008-12-10T15:20:00.000-08:00I'm sorry. I understand your frustration and I am...I'm sorry. I understand your frustration and I am frustrated for you. There is nothing I can say that would make you feel better but please know that there are others out there who totally understand your point of view.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-974993082271451382008-12-10T14:53:00.000-08:002008-12-10T14:53:00.000-08:00I had to comment. I am a Catholic over here in Ire...I had to comment. I am a Catholic over here in Ireland, which a mostly Catholic country and I have never heard of registering with a church. I totally see where you are coming from, you are being really honest, fair play to you. As I read others saying, if your sister wants you to take care of her daughter in her death, you can do it legally. There are many people over here that is disillusioned J from Irelandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04358890639197418489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-2256805081354275462008-12-10T11:51:00.000-08:002008-12-10T11:51:00.000-08:00I had to comment. I was raised Catholic (father's...I had to comment. I was raised Catholic (father's choice). I have learned it is ALL about PRETENDING. My father had his marriage to my mother (his first wife) annulled so that he could marry his THRID wife (a former stripper) in the church. This made me sad, but now when he wants to know why I won't go there I tell him it is because they declared me a bastard. He's not even married to the Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17076375561827113942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-84486678754800777042008-12-10T10:39:00.000-08:002008-12-10T10:39:00.000-08:00If I were you I'd say no. If I was your sister I w...If I were you I'd say no. If I was your sister I wouldn't have asked you. I'm Catholic and the whole point of a Godparent is to be a religious and spiritual lead in the child's life. You cannot fulfil this role can you? It isn't right for you, and you shouldn't put yourself in that kind of situation.<BR/><BR/>I'm a practising Catholic in England and the whole 'registered at a parish' thing is Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-56704929379143392432008-12-10T08:39:00.000-08:002008-12-10T08:39:00.000-08:00I read some of the comments above, and maybe this ...I read some of the comments above, and maybe this was mentioned, but I didn't see it.<BR/><BR/>I am Catholic. Not very active and participating, but I am. When I had my daughter, I wanted my younger sister to be the Godmother and my uncle to be the Godfather. In our church, and I suspect most others, you DO NOT need 2 "godparents", only one. Only one person must be a confirmed and active member Stac Colehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00987598916230715360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-91338406057823854132008-12-10T07:50:00.000-08:002008-12-10T07:50:00.000-08:00I too am Catholic and currently at a point in my l...I too am Catholic and currently at a point in my life where I am questioning my faith and the way that it affects my life. When I was confirmed my aunt who is like my second mother was not allowed to be my sponsor because she had gotten divorced, although she was an active member in her church it was not allowed.<BR/><BR/>I hate the way that the church just screws everything up sometimes. SinceAmandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475894996684337257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-57444735657746254342008-12-10T07:41:00.001-08:002008-12-10T07:41:00.001-08:00Again, being a godparent within the Catholic churc...Again, being a godparent within the Catholic church has to do with ensuring a child will be raised within the religion, not who will take physical custody.<BR/><BR/>HOWEVER.<BR/><BR/>How interesting that you as a non-Catholic seem to be showing more respect to the church by refusing to lie, than your sister is.<BR/><BR/>I'm so sorry you're having to deal with it, from one ex-Catholic to another.Honeybellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06448242064198643614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-62360720643817755572008-12-10T07:41:00.000-08:002008-12-10T07:41:00.000-08:00No advice because I don't know the answers myself....No advice because I don't know the answers myself. I have struggled with the same issue twice. <BR/><BR/>I agree with everything you have said except for this <BR/><BR/>" I’ve asked her to please understand that it isn’t about her, it’s about me ".<BR/><BR/>In fact, it is about her. And her baby. And her beliefs.<BR/><BR/>I am a Godparent to 2 family members. I do not consider myself to have any Avalonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12717171111059212946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-9582621419993845182008-12-10T07:40:00.000-08:002008-12-10T07:40:00.000-08:00My best friend (really more like my sister) wants ...My best friend (really more like my sister) wants me to be the godmother of her third child. I'm non-Cathoic and she is. She's not an adament one, doesn't really even go to church, but the first two were baptised in the catholic church, so she thought the third should be. Anyway, in her will I am the guardian for her three children. She asked the priest about godparents and said I wasn't CatholicAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-3294051583420689662008-12-10T07:11:00.000-08:002008-12-10T07:11:00.000-08:00I am proudly Catholic, but I am so sorry you are g...I am proudly Catholic, but I am so sorry you are going through this. I do think you have to stand up for your beliefs, but I don't think you should "blame" the Catholic church for being the institution it is.<BR/><BR/>You have enough here about Guardian v. Godparent. I hope your sister comes around and names you Guardian. You sound like a good sister in that regard.<BR/><BR/>My true belief -- a Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-50118572336411099242008-12-10T07:04:00.000-08:002008-12-10T07:04:00.000-08:00Speaking as another Catholic, I'll echo everyone e...Speaking as another Catholic, I'll echo everyone else who's said that godparent doesn't equal future guardian in the eyes of the Church. What you've been told is right: its a position of spiritual parenting, and helping the child grow in God and Church, which is the reason parishes often ask for membership; t prove that the person who's agreeing to be the godparent is an active church member, andAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-87289494860570998592008-12-10T06:09:00.001-08:002008-12-10T06:09:00.001-08:00OMG my husband and his whole family are Catholic a...OMG my husband and his whole family are Catholic and we have had some knock down drag out fights about it. His parents are way over the top Catholic and all four of their kids are screwed up becasuse of it. My oldest sister in law is an unhappy mirror image of my mother in law, the middle one is an athiest, my husband knows nothing about being Catholic but says he is and the youngest one has a Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-82137835800159852932008-12-10T06:09:00.000-08:002008-12-10T06:09:00.000-08:00And for the record, Godparents are completely diff...And for the record, Godparents are completely different than potential guardians in the event something should happen to the parents... Guardians are people you name in your will to take care of your children; Godparents are there to 'help' parents with instilling whatever values the church values. (And in the wealthier classes, to give expensive gifts at holiday time and to provide good Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-29136953626534755692008-12-09T23:02:00.000-08:002008-12-09T23:02:00.000-08:00I don't see why you need to even go in there to be...I don't see why you need to even go in there to be someones god parent...my friend had a baby and im her sons godmother... we didnt need a church for that... she asked me i said yes...the only people who need to know are her and i. The only thing is i take custody if his father cant. i dunno, i dont understand the catholic way either, and ive never planned on it. and yeah i'd have to say, youve Mrs. Sawatzkyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09620488392106471591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-13384950116481801612008-12-09T20:54:00.000-08:002008-12-09T20:54:00.000-08:00Just to start, I'm not Catholic but my husband is ...Just to start, I'm not Catholic but my husband is and I gave in and let our kids be baptized Catholic. So I know what things mean and how stupid and irritating the whole "Godparent rules" are. Even my husband agreed, which to another Catholic is almost like him saying that the Pope is gay. Regardless, the whole Godparent thing is not who determines who will raise the kid, but who will "sponserAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-38458025964317215852008-12-09T20:52:00.000-08:002008-12-09T20:52:00.000-08:00Can't you be the child's named guardian, in the ev...Can't you be the child's named guardian, in the event that something unthinkable happens to your sister, but not be the "godmother"? <BR/><BR/>I'm sorry you're going through this.<BR/><BR/>AmyAmyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10315843187811122669noreply@blogger.com