tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post8971435581511239071..comments2024-02-21T08:58:09.518-08:00Comments on Her Bad Mother's Basement: Confessions Of An Evil Friend And Concerned MotherHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-23110748378719172242009-05-14T18:28:00.000-07:002009-05-14T18:28:00.000-07:00I work as a psychotherapist in an HIV clinic, and ...I work as a psychotherapist in an HIV clinic, and while I do think that perhaps you may be a little overprotective of your child and not completely understand the means of transmission, I also understand that many parents have rules about who their child may share drinks with that have nothing to do with health...so change your rules if you want, but be careful not to blame as you do so. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-35365776398087809912009-05-12T22:16:00.000-07:002009-05-12T22:16:00.000-07:00Not too sure how this works, but both of these see...Not too sure how this works, but both of these seem to be very valid concerns- the first, someone needs to tell the ex. And the second is equally important, both for your children and for your friend... Hope you find a way to let this out to your friend, and walk with him positively..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-22950905477219981822009-05-08T08:25:00.000-07:002009-05-08T08:25:00.000-07:00If I got such a letter from a "friend," I'd say, "...If I got such a letter from a "friend," I'd say, "I'm sorry you believe I have put your child at risk. It will probably make you feel better if we avoid all contact.<br /><br />Goodbye."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-74935900693704941112009-05-07T19:06:00.000-07:002009-05-07T19:06:00.000-07:00I have worked in HIV/AIDS organizations. I have h...I have worked in HIV/AIDS organizations. I have had dear friends who are HIV positive. I also have a 2-year-old that I am absurdly over-protective of. And I think the OP is totally off-base. <br /><br />The chances of transmission in the way she describes are a lot less than remote. She takes more risks with her kids by getting into a car with them and getting on a highway. <br /><br />I Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-823048499985325922009-05-07T13:28:00.000-07:002009-05-07T13:28:00.000-07:00Wow, give her a break, she just found out and she ...Wow, give her a break, she just found out and she thinks of her kids, it doens't mean that suddenly she's lost respect for her friend !<br /><br />One of the persons I love the most in the world is HIV positive and he is very very careful about hygiene, but in a really discreet way, and I almost never think about any risk. I was never frightened of having contact with him, but perhaps that's Delphinenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-52291650934818440222009-05-07T08:37:00.000-07:002009-05-07T08:37:00.000-07:00I suggest that you talk to them in person because ...I suggest that you talk to them in person because what you wrote said "ick!! don't come near us!!" on soooo many levels. It sounded like there was no empathy or concern for your friend, even though you <I>try</I> to position it that way (which is very manipulative). Be truthful, you are scared of maintaining a relationship with this person. Just be honest and break the relationship instead of Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-74170212192200663222009-05-06T20:36:00.000-07:002009-05-06T20:36:00.000-07:00Isn't there a law now that if you are infected, th...Isn't there a law now that if you are infected, that you must tell previous partners?<br /><br />Good luck, OP. I totally agree, I would not be willing to take any risk with my child, whatsoever, even as much as I loved my friend.PaciMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00016131153681549963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-11820153525963929982009-05-06T17:13:00.000-07:002009-05-06T17:13:00.000-07:00I think your friendship is at risk but I also thin...I think your friendship is at risk but I also think that you're okay with that.<br /><br />On the hygiene front, I would expect your friend to feel offended, whether you intend the offense or not. Just as many commenters here grant that you are "entitled" to feel over-protective, you can grant that he is entitled to feel offended. It will be up to him to weigh that offense against the depth and KLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-11884495817658726192009-05-06T14:22:00.000-07:002009-05-06T14:22:00.000-07:00If I was this person you're writing to I would app...If I was this person you're writing to I would appreciate the fact that you're telling me your concerns so that our relationship wouldn't become awkward in the future. I think it's a nice letter and truly shows how hard it was for you to write it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-35975939669988511642009-05-06T13:27:00.000-07:002009-05-06T13:27:00.000-07:00i hope that your friend will respond well to your ...i hope that your friend will respond well to your concerns. i also would not place the whole drink sharing responsibility on your friend though... teach your child to not share drinks with others. i don't know how young your little guy is, but he can learn to not drink from others cups.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-41684475292234482792009-05-06T12:08:00.000-07:002009-05-06T12:08:00.000-07:00Maybe it's just me, but I would be squicked if I s...Maybe it's just me, but I would be squicked if I saw even my best friend sharing a drink with my kid. Even leaving HIV out of the picture, what about sharing regular ol' germs? Not to mention, what sane adult would even <I>want</I> to share a drink with a kid? I love my kids, but they backwash.Brennahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00383296340622807117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-48642511264992561332009-05-06T10:53:00.000-07:002009-05-06T10:53:00.000-07:00Wow first anon commenter, gotta chip on that shoul...Wow first anon commenter, gotta chip on that shoulder? <br /><br />Sheesh. <br /><br />If indeed they are close, I would think the HIV positive friend would appreciate her concerns and would understand since her son is a lip biter. Imagine how he would feel if the child was infected and that is a TERRIFIC point about not exposing this gentleman to kid germs as well. <br /><br />Get a grip anon.Sherihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16598822471867683429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-61189531590625356642009-05-06T09:42:00.000-07:002009-05-06T09:42:00.000-07:00I also disagree with Anonymous. While I do agree t...I also disagree with Anonymous. While I do agree that maybe you should talk to your pediatrician about the rick level to your son, it is ultimately your decision whether or not you are comfortable with him sharing drinks with your son, and if you aren't, it's best not to pretend you are and let it bother you and fester within, which will only cause tension in your relationship with him.<br /><br Jaden Paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05711181837109867842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-43368448195427321382009-05-06T07:28:00.000-07:002009-05-06T07:28:00.000-07:00Wow, it must be nice to hand someone their ass at ...Wow, it must be nice to hand someone their ass at 7am, anon.<br /><br />I do agree with the whole talk to your pediatrician, who can help you gauge the proper amount of concern.<br /><br />That said? My BIL has HIV, and I love him to death, cuddle with him on the couch, give him hugs and kisses, and on and on and on. I do not, however, eat or drink after him for two excellent reasons..<br /><br /Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-19686774977508255282009-05-06T07:20:00.000-07:002009-05-06T07:20:00.000-07:00Wow. I totally disagree with anon. I think it is e...Wow. I totally disagree with anon. I think it is entirely reasonable that you think he should tell a partner that he may have infected. I also think it is reasonable that you may be (even if it is overly) protective. Don't we all want to protect our children? You know that your child will probably not contract HIV from sharing drinks, but if you aren't comfortable about it that is your choice, Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17521087495691496698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26063103.post-70284291052287990612009-05-06T07:00:00.000-07:002009-05-06T07:00:00.000-07:00Wow. I'm going to call you out here, and praise yo...Wow. I'm going to call you out here, and praise you for "rehearsing" your spiel to your friend because it's entirely tone-deaf. You begin by trying to convince him that you have his best interests at heart, and guilt-tripping him into disclosing his status to his partner. This is entirely his call, though I'm sure he'd welcome your support if it was truly out of concern for him. Instead, your Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com