Posted by Sarah.
Dear Neighbor,
You may find this upsetting but I feel like I need to be honest with you.
The state of my yard is so far down my list of priorities that it isn't even on the front of the piece of paper.
In all honesty I couldn't give a rats ass if there are leaves in my "flower beds". It is Fall. They decided to call it fall because of all of the leaves that continue to fall off of the trees. I have neither the time nor the inclination to rake or blow my yard every day.
Heh. I said blow my yard.
Seriously, I have two children, I work, I go to the grocery store five times a week, I haul my kids back and forth to preschool four days a week, it is football season, Gabe works 60 hours weeks (at least) and I have to still eat, sleep and blog.
I just don't care.
I know it bugs you. Otherwise why would you come over here and tell us that we need to move our car so that the leaf sucking truck can pick up our leaves?
We're not stupid. We're not even really lazy. We just have other things to do first.
Like 50 loads of laundry.
I know you think you are better than me and I am fine with that. You are much better at yard work. For all I know you might even have all of your laundry folded and put away.
The thing is, I don't care. I don't care about your yard. I don't care about my yard. We keep it mowed and I don't have any cars on my lawn or large appliance out by the curb. A few leaves aren't going to kill anybody. They aren't even going to affect your property values.
I don't begrudge you your well manicured bushes and mulch. I just want you to understand that I would rather spend 20 minutes explaining to you that I don't give a shit than I would go outside and rake.
How do I know what is under those leaves? That crap freaks me out. What if there is a snake in there or something?
In short I'm sorry it bugs you but not sorry enough to make a special effort just because you keep coming over here dropping no-so-subtle hints. In fact, that just makes me want to do it less. I've just replaced #37 rake with #38 finish watching first season of Mad Men.
Love,
____
I originally wrote this for my own blog, but then I got really paranoid. I figure that the neighbor that does my yard work and peeks in my window is exactly the sort of person who would be doing a Google search on my name and reading my blog obsessively to see if I was writing about her. After that it took me about 15 seconds to think of "The Basement".
