Thursday, May 05, 2011

This Is a Thank You Letter

Posted by Anonymous.

To Catherine for hosting this, but also to all the bereaved, betrayed, angry, and injured souls on here. This one isn't for everyone; some of you won't relate to this at all. That's fine too. This one is mostly for the married folk out there.

About Me:

I'm a simple man. A Man's Man, really. I love my woman, my kids, sex, cars, guns, weightlifting and beer. In that order. I am a United States Marine, so you can imagine the testosterone runs a tad high in my veins. I'm a brother to several sisters, a son to a quirky mother (think Ms Frizzle from Magic School Bus. Seriously.), and a dedicated husband to an amazing woman. I was not always so dedicated. In fairness, my first wife was not so faithful herself. This is not the point; it is just a bit of color for the background. We failed, through mutual immaturity, lack of a foundation (dated a year and married), infidelity on both sides, and several other fissure-sized flaws on BOTH our parts.

Now, I am remarried. Strangely enough, to a woman that I dated in college, almost 13 years ago. We broke up because I joined the Marines, of all things. 8 years later, and a spouse each, we met up again, and we are. Both MUCH wiser the second time around.


There is always that 'But,' isn't there?

I am still a Man, however much I have learned. And while I am proud of my genetic package, this presents a problem. I tend to think I have things under control. We men like that. To be The Man. In Charge. On Top Of It. Got This One on Cruise Control. This blinds us, willfully or otherwise, to an amazing array of things that women see as glaringly obvious. This trait above all others is what I credit with my first marriage's demise, at least from my end. We tend to think we have things figured out, and that is that. We will ALWAYS have it figured out. Because things never change, PEOPLE never change, right? Heh. Yeah Right.


Because I know this, I am paranoid. Always self-examining, always thinking, 'am I missing something?' But because I am NOT a woman, I'm a blind man trying to teach myself what the color Blue is.

Here is where the Thank You starts. To ALL of you. All of you who suffer, whose men AREN'T men, if only because of their willful blindness, their neglect, and their dispassionate self-justification (we're good at that, let me tell you...).

I thank you for sharing, for letting all your hates, hurts, and feelings fly. It's because of you guys that I know what to look for. It's because of your willingness to share that I can see those blind spots; they're damnably hard to find otherwise. It is because of the woman who loves her husband beyond all reason, all sanity, and pours out her troubles and feelings here, that my marriage is still kicking. I hope and pray for each and every one of you, that your situation will improve, that your man will wake up, that YOU will wake up, whatever the case may be. But, in the meantime, Thanks. Just know that you aren't screaming into the wind. By what you do here, another woman is spared the suffering you endure. Small consolation? Maybe. But it's what I have to offer.

I owe you all.

Just....keep saving me, would you?


A Man.


Kate said...

beautifully honest post, thank you for sharing

Anonymous said...

thank YOU for that post.

Anonymous said...

That was beyond great! You ARE A MAN.
There seems to not be enough of you out there. My late-husband was more of a large, petulent boy than a man.
I was lucky enough to find A MAN 7 years ago (also ex-mil, Air Force) when my daughters were 4 and 6. They are his only children, this is his first marriage, but casual onlookers assume we have been together long enough for him to have fathered my/our 13 and 11 year olds.
It is MEN like you who teach girls that any treatment besides love and respect by men is absolutely unexceptable.
I am blessed to have found a MAN who will teach my daughters.
Ame in TN

Anonymous said...

wow - that was amazing. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Wow! You are an amazing Man! Thanks for sharing, and thanks for caring.

Anonymous said...

Very impressive. Thank you Sincerely.

pressurized said...

wow amazing .. thanks for sharing this lovely letter ..