The Fight Against Jim

Posted by Denise Kingsley (Pongratz).

I dropped the ball again.

I married very young. I was in love. In a few short years after the birth of two children, I knew I had outgrown him. I knew I would have nothing if I stayed with him. He was unfaithful to boot. When I decided to leave he became obsessed with keeping me. It took me 3 years to get my divorce. I am sure that this part of my story is common.

I dropped the ball by not pursuing him for child support. The laws were different when we divorced in 84. If he was not working, which he conveniently did not, no support was ordered. Once I found out he was working, I started the legal ball rolling only to be buried in paperwork and depositions. I had to make the decision whether to continue the fight,or provide for my children. I chose to stop. I could not afford both.

A second marriage required a move to another state. Instead of trying to prevent the move, he brought me papers that stated he would never have to pay anything. I did not sign them.

I tried again a few years later to get him to provide for his children, Once again he made it impossible and the cost too great for me. I stopped again.

The children are now 30 and 32. I recently found out my ex, their father, was in the hospital near death. He had virtually no contact with the kids and went many years between any communication. He almost died. COPD and pneumonia. He recovered, but does not have much of a life.

A new fire rose in me. How could this man die and never leave anything to his children? Nothing. He taught them nothing, gave them nothing but the pain of being abandoned. For the first time in my life I am financially able to fight him. Lawyer, court, judgment. He did not bother to fight it. He thought nothing would happen after all these years. I won a judgment that is almost impossible to collect. I spin my wheels and make myself physically ill trying to get him to do the right thing. He has once again hired an attorney instead of giving anything to his children. Not even a token. No mention in a will. Nothing. He is trying to get the judgement against him vacated for health reasons. He is and has always been sneaky. I am sure his has been hiding everything he can. I spoke to my attorney and all I can do is to throw more money into the fight. I am at the same position I have always been. Do I fight? How much will THIS fight cost? Is it the money or the principle? I know in my heart it is the principle. I want him to own it! I want him to pay for the pain he caused but I don't know how to do it.

Is it right to let it go and drop the ball again? Does a sick man get a pass now just because he is sick? The children do not want to see him now. Everything he has done since his hospitalization has proven to the kids that he does not care... never has. Actions speak louder than words.

I need to find inner peace. Will that peace come from letting it go and moving on, or should I spend the money and try everything I can to continue the fight?

These Stupid Games

Posted by Mrs. Mess (cross-posted at This Blessed Mess)

What you are doing is not fair. I know - life is not fair - but what you are doing is just offensive to me as a mother and as a woman and it’s plain wrong.

I married you when I was a silly little girl - just doing what I was told - but divorcing you filled me with a furious need to never be ’silly’ again. To never be disregarded or ignored or insignificant again. I have long since nullified my resentment of you because I am not sure I would like a person that hadn’t learned all those lessons you taught me. All the strength that leaving you brought me - the bull-headed determination that still stamps itself on my face when someone tells me that I can’t do something, or raises a hand to me, or dares to act as if I am ‘insignificant’.

But your absence from our son was never excused. Make no mistake; I have never, and will never, speak ill of you to him, but I will never lie to him, either. I waited and waited for you to start being his father. I knew that Washington had nothing left for me - but I stayed - just in case you would decide to be in his life. I put my world on hold and I did not move on or do anything for myself because I never ever wanted to give you another excuse for why you just couldn’t make him significant enough. I waited for 8 years for you to make just one move closer to him. One. And you didn’t. I all but begged you - no, I did beg you to be in his life - and you simply said ‘no’.

So I left. I left because while I was busy trying to force you to not make my son feel insignificant and unimportant - your behavior began to highlight that fact and make it throb. So I took him and we left to find a better life. And we did. We found a wonderful life filled with love and compassion and family and no one ever feels left out or small. He has brothers and sisters and a man in his life that would never hurt him or his mom. And he was healing. I know that no amount of a mothers love can ever fill up the hole that being abandoned by a father leaves - but he was healing, and the wounds that you left became only bruises and they didn’t bleed like they did when you simply said ‘no’.

And then, lo and behold, because you just can’t just let people heal, you showed back up. Talking about video games and cars and all the things that a boys his age think dads talk about. With no explanation of why your face was not familiar to him or why your voice did not sound like home to him. With no reasoning or apology or anything to explain why you refused to exist for so long - nothing but expensive electronics and promises of a car when he turns 16 and BAM! You are a hero - you can do no wrong.

My son is caring and loving and considerate - but when he comes home from your house, he is mean. My son would never hurt his mom’s feelings - he knows what struggles we went through -he remembers . But when he comes home from your house he makes fun or our life - he belittles our home and he tries to makes it seem insignificant. That is not ok.

And now - you think he belongs to you. Now you think that all if takes is your money and your lawyer and you big words and you can just take him away. You think that it’s ‘your turn’. You think that you can just make demands on me and my family and we have to just lie down -like before- and that you’ll get whatever you want because you are ‘the man’ and what you say goes but you are wrong in so many ways.

I will fight with you. I will play your stupid game. I will go to court and I will break your ‘rules’. I say whatever I need to say and I won’t smile pretty this time. Did your brother ever find out all those things you told his wife? Did your mom ever find out why you really spent that time in jail when we were married? How about your wife - is she aware of your how you feel about other men? Or does she just ignore that - like I wouldn’t?

I will fight you for my son and he will stay with me. And no, I will not be covering ‘all the costs’ you incurred because I moved out-of-state. I simply say ‘no’. And if you want to play dirty and remind me that life is not fair - then I will do that too. I am not above hitting below the belt - and you should know that, going in.

My son will not be insignificant or unimportant- and you are not allowed to use him to try to alleviate your insignificance and unimportance. I raised him. I cried for him when he hurt and held him when he cried for you. I answered the hard questions and none of them ever had anything to do when an X-Box or an IPod. I built my whole world around him not hurting - so you are not allowed to come in and try to push it all over.

You are not important. You are not significant. You are not a dad- you are just another struggle that he will remember having to go through - I know that, because I know you - and I know you can’t endure anything that is real - and you will disappear again. And I know that you will blame it on me for fighting with you- and that’s ok too.

Just go - I’ll play your stupid game, and I’ll pick up all the pieces and put him back together, I always do, just go.

Dear Ex

Posted by ANTM.

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

You suck. I am one of the nicest people on the planet and I hate you. Seriously – I hate you. Right now, as I am writing this you are messaging me wondering what it is that you did to push me away.

In the beginning, things were bright and shiny like all new relationships are. I liked you. We moved in together. I started to question your judgment two months in when you allowed your ex-fiance to sleep over night in our house together. Without asking me first. I let it slide since she was pregnant and obviously over you but I should have left you right then.

I am 6 years younger than you and I was straight out of college when we started dating. You partied just as much as I did. Funny thing is, I gave up partying once I got a job two months after graduation. You are 31 now and still go out every weekend. Not just out for a few beers with the guys. It is more like drink as much alcohol as you can because it might be banned tomorrow kind of out. Then you decide it might be a good idea to come home and wake up your girlfriend for sex. Who really cares that she has to get up and work in two hours right? Remember the time you threw up all over the bathroom and woke me up at 3 am to clean it up? Classy…

I moved away for a while to give you some time to grow up. Not just down the street away either. I moved to a whole new country. You would call and write. Messages of how much you missed me and you wanted to get married. You wanted to have babies. You wanted to move away and start a life together. I was pretty convinced you had changed so I moved back to the very town I hated for you.

I signed a one year contract for a job that I cannot stand. Miranda from the Devil Wears Prada is totally my boss. Each day it takes every ounce of strength I have to prevent myself from stabbing her with my letter opener. You promised after one year we could move to a bigger city. You took me to a ring store to look at rings. Then something happened and you stopped all of that niceness. I should have known better but I guess I didn’t.

You started going out every weekend again. You stopped talking about marriage with me and instead started talking to every girl who would look at you. So you know what? I stopped talking to you. For one week – complete silence. Then my grandfather had a stroke. A bad one. I hadn’t slept in three days. It was the night before my family was going to turn off the machines. I was going to the hospital the next day to say good-bye. I cried myself to sleep that night. You went out and got drunk. Around 4:30 am, you came home, stripped off all of your clothes and woke me up. You asked if I could help you out. When I told you to get the hell away from me, do you know what you did? You laid on the floor next to the couch I was sleeping on and asked if I would just go down on you for a bit. I should have kicked you directly in the groin but I didn’t.

I moved out two weeks later and you still cannot seem to figure out why. Perhaps I am just a selfish bitch but in reality I think it has more to do with the fact that you are a child and I would like to be with a man. You don’t love me anyway. You just love the idea of me being around to do your laundry, wash your dishes, and clean up your vomit after a rough night at the bar. So you can pretty much go screw yourself…

Sincerely,

Your ex-girlfriend

P.S. You can stop with the damn messages that I don’t care about your feelings and how you just don’t understand how I could be so selfish because frankly, I don’t give a damn!

Jealous

Posted by Anonymous.

I am smart, kind, and generous. I am loving and lovable. I am a great mother, daughter, sister and friend. I am open-minded, gracious, well-traveled and successful.

My ex-husband is none of those things.

He is, however, jealous of me because of who I am. And because of that, he spent years tearing me down. I was "old and fat and ugly." I was "not fun". I was "dragging him down". I "ruined his life". He mocked my friends, my business, my parenting skills, my brother, my clothes and hair, my weight. He was never proud of me.

And now, when I know he's seeing someone else, started seeing her a few days after he "left my ass"? It makes me crazy. I can't stop thinking about it. And I'm jealous.

Jealous.

I can't believe myself. I know that if this woman is anything like me, if she's as good as I am or better, it's only a matter of time before he starts tearing her down, too. And if she's not, if she's like him, or worse, then what do I have to be jealous of? Let them have each other.

For my kids sake, I hope she's great. I hope she's smart and lovely and kind to them. But I'm stuck in the "why her and not me?" loop. And I really, really, want to get out of it, because GOD he sucked as a husband, and God am I better off now without him and with full custody of our beautiful kids.

I wanted to write this because I wanted to see the things I am in black and white. Because I'm hoping if I say it enough, if I think it enough, that I'll start to believe it.

I don't love my ex. I don't like him. I don't want him back. And I really don't want to care about who he's seeing. I want to move past feeling discarded. I want to know who I am.

I Feel Broken

Posted by Anonymous.

Let me give you a little background on my relationship with The Ex. We were together for four years. We have a soon to be 2 year old daughter. For the first couple of years, our relationship was fine. Up until right before I got pregnant, that is. That was the first time he cheated on me. I was devastated, but not yet a believer in the old adage, "once a cheater always a cheater." I forgave. I let it go. All was well for my pregnancy. Then, a month after I gave birth to our daughter, he says he is leaving me. He has met someone and fallen for her. Says he has wanted to leave since before I got pregnant and just decided to try and stick it out. Once again I am crushed. The bottom has fallen out of my world. I am terrified, alone, and a mother. How will I deal with this? I feel desperate. I will do anything if only he would come back to me. Acting so pathetic makes me disgusted with myself, but I do not care. I love him. Lo and behold, suddenly he wants to come home-and so I let him. But there is a catch. He does not break it off with her. I tell myself that this will just be temporary. If only I can stick it out, we can be happy again.

This goes on for weeks. Then months. Before I quite know what has happened, a year and a half has gone by. This woman is still in his life. It's been going on for so long that it almost seems normal to me. Then, again. One night he comes home with a hickey on his neck. I know where he was, and it wasn't with her. There is yet another woman. An old friend of his, whom I had always been friendly with. I realize I am simply a member of his harem. I finally get angry. For some time now I have been harboring a secret lust for my neighbor, K. He knows what is going on with The Ex. Many times he has told me how wrong it is, the way he treats me. He knows I am about at the end of my rope and to my surprise, starts making tentative advances. He drops hints. We have long conversations, sitting outside on the stairs, smoking, late at night when the Ex is with her and my daughter asleep. He is a whole different world from the Ex. He doesn't insult and degrade me.

One night, when the Ex is out for an overnight fishing trip, I invite him in. We spend hours curled up on the couch. Ever so gradually, as if he's scared I will run out of the room if he moves too quickly, he inches closer. There is, finally, a kiss. There is much cuddling. He lets me set the pace and does not pressure me. Eventually, one thing leads to another. It is amazing. I haven't been with anyone but the Ex in 4 years. I had forgotten what it feels like to be with someone that hasn't hurt you so terribly-for it to be easy, and simple, and to have nothing niggling away, reminding you of past hurts. At first I think, this will be it-a one night stand, my private victory over the Ex for all he has done to me. Petty, perhaps, but also cathartic. But a few nights later, a conversation with K, coupled with the fact that I haven't been able to stop thinking about him, changes that. I tell the Ex we are done. I tell him to get his things and leave. He rages. He yells. He cries. He swears he will change, asks what I have to lose by giving him another chance. I think of K. I stand firm. Finally, I have taken a stand. Never did I think I would be strong enough to do this. I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.


And now, there is K. For a few months, all is well. I am constantly amazed by how much easier things are with him. There are no fights, no screaming, no name calling and no cheating. He treats me as though I am some fragile creature, and he is afraid I will blow away in the wind. He is calm and kindness after anger and chaos. He is amazing, and there is a fiery passion between us that had been missing for far too long in my life. I start to fall in love with him. I feel as though he is safe-I sense none of the coldness or cruelty in him that the Ex had. Being near him centers me, calms me. Whenever he is around I feel as though nothing can touch me. He is safe. He is my courage. Alas, happiness seems to be fleeting. One day, after an offhand remark by him, I realize he is not so perfect. It seems he has problems staying in a long term relationship-not because of cheating, mind you, but because as soon as he starts to feel something real he takes off. He refuses to stay with anyone for long. I am floored again, and tearfully I tell him that if that is the case, then I must cut my losses and go now. I am too close to being head over heels in love with him to wait around for him to bail out on me. I must be the one that walks away. And so with one last hug, I do.

And now, I am afraid. K gave me one thing-he helped me to move on from the Ex. Now there is no longer any danger of me taking him back again. I feel nothing for him but a tired sort of tolerance, in that he must be in my life because of my daughter. But he no longer owns me. But he was so big a part of me, for so long, that I feel strange and empty not loving him. And I am still hurting over K-I let myself feel for him because he seemed safe, I thought he would never hurt me. I know he felt something real too-there is just no way to fake what we had. So I am hurt and confused over how he could just turn his back on it. So, twice heartbroken and wondering what to do, here I sit. I feel so battered down and beaten by everything I've been through, I just can't seem to find any reason to try anymore. Now, I'm not suicidal, don't take it wrong. I just feel like giving up on life. What is the point of risking yourself, of trying to find something, when all it does is turn around and bite you on the ass? Why even try? I am so utterly tired of being hurt, and used, and never good enough for anyone that I feel like I should just slam the door to my feelings closed and throw away the key. I'm sick of giving myself to someone only to be thrown away.

I have my daughter to raise, and I feel as though that should give my life purpose and illumination. But it doesn't. I love my daughter fiercely and completely, I would lay down my life for hers, but that does not automatically make me immune to the trials and tribulations of life. People speak of parenthood as though it should be your one purpose and goal in life, as if you cease to be a person and are merely a child raising automaton the second you give birth. But I am still me. I still have all the same doubts and fears, I still love and still hurt and still wonder what it's all about. I can't help that. But I just can't seem to get back on my feet this time - I don't know how to find the strength to keep trying anymore.

What Am I Doing?

Posted By Anonymous.

I have something to say. Something that I think is bad. Wrong. Wrong, wrong, dirty and wrong.

I have been married for 10 years to an amazing man. We have 3 kids. 3 beautiful, adorable, busy, energetic kids. Lately, we’ve been stressing about finances. Our credit is horrible, because husband lost a job, we lost a house and a vehicle because of it. So we rent. And we no longer WANT to rent, but there is nothing else we can do. Can you say "mortgage crisis"? It has gotten to the point where whenever we talk, we end up arguing. The only way we can hold a rational conversation is through email or text message. I can’t remember the last time we had sex. Even further than that, I can’t remember the last time sex lasted longer than 5 minutes. I am a sexual being. Sex is important to me. It’s not to him.

So the wrong thing? Yeah. I googled the name of an old friend. Ok, not just a friend. But a friend with benefits. Wonderful, awesome, mind blowing benefits. Benefits that lasted four years. Benefits that lasted until I met the man that is now my husband. I found this friend. I emailed him. He’s now married, with kids. He’s moved 1000 miles away and is no longer anywhere near me. It had been 10 years since I last spoke with him. We remained friends (but no benefits) up until the day I got married. After that, we cut contact. It was really best for both of us. It was extremely hard to be friends without benefits.

So I found him and emailed him. He emailed back telling me he was married, kids, moved, finished college, nice job, etc. I emailed him back and told him what was going on in my life. Just jumped into it like we were old friends again...not like we hadn’t talked in 10 years. He emailed me back and told me it would probably not be a good idea for me to email him because if his wife found out it would hurt her. I was humbled by that email. I told my husband what I had done. I let him read the emails. He was somewhat upset with me that I confided in this person that I hadn’t talked to in 10 years. He asked me not to ever speak to him again. He didn’t understand the whole friends part...he wasn’t able to get past the benefits. And that I enjoyed the benefits, and talked about the benefits. From day one he was always jealous of this friend...probably for good reason. I knew he had nothing to worry about, but he didn’t know that.

Fast forward one week later. I get an email from a weird address. "Hey this is so and so, wife and I are going through a rough patch and I thought it was her emailing me pretending to be you (she knows about me to...he cheated on her with me while they were dating...many times...she doesn’t like me for good reason). But then I did some research and realized that she would never know your married name. So email me on this address from now on and we can talk. So I did. Big mistake.

It started out innocent. Talking about our kids, our lives, our jobs, our spouses, our families. Catching up on the last 10 years. Then we started chatting on Google instead of just emailing. Once or twice a week we would chat for a few hours at a time. Then the chats turned dirty...as they were probably destined to do. We started talking about our past, and possible future..not together, just the benefits. We started describing things we wanted done to us that our spouses didn’t do. Now we chat everyday while we are at work. Not constantly, but in spurts. Regardless, we both have the screen up all day long. We have progressed into planning on how we are going to meet each other again. We tell each other our problems with our spouses. We offer advice and encouragement on how to "fix" our relationships. This has been going on for 6 months now. We never run out of things to say. He’s called me at work once. We actually talked. It was nice. But awkward. We decided that we rather the computer.

The worst part? I’ve come to realize that I am truly upset if I don’t get to talk to him. And it hurts me to know that I would talk like this to someone else when I have not done anything like this in my 12 year relationship with my husband. It scares me that I can tell this person, this man, all my fears, my hopes, my desires, my needs. But I can’t tell my husband. And it saddens me that I am actually thinking about meeting him. Somehow. Someway. I need this man behind the computer. I need to feel the way he makes me feel. It is just sex. We both agreed to that. But it’s not. Not for me. And I don’t think for him. We see in each other the things we want to see in our own spouses. We can have all the benefits without all the bullshit. But I am smart enough to know that if we have the benefits, and the benefits are truly what we remember, the bullshit will come. We will resent our spouses. Our relationships will probably fail. Our relationships that we have worked so hard to make. I know I should let him go. I know I should stop. But I can’t. I can’t let go of the way I feel when I talk to him. I can’t give that up. Giving that up now may make me turn to a person who is actually real. And within reach. And THAT would truly be devastating.

But I need to stop. How do I stop? How do I pretend like this never happened? To me, it’s cheating. The things I’ve said, the things he’s said. It’s cheating. Right? I’m not telling my husband, I’m not being 100% honest with him. I really don’t think that I will ever meet this friend for real. There is too much at stake. Too much to lose. Not for just one night of amazing benefits. But if I do meet him? I will cheat. For real. And that is wrong. Wrong, wrong, dirty and wrong. But yet, I still cannot stop.

What's Love?

Posted by Anonymous

Dear Dear Daughter's Sperm Donor:

your favourite pastime is spreading the word how much you love your baby girl.
nagging me to allow you to take studio pics of you and my DD together to send out for xmas.
saying "ill pay child support" when the $10 dollars you could manage to save from the beer fund wouldnt be worth me having to hear "i have rights, i support her"
and strolling her around showing off, when you could be looking to her talking instead of simply pushing her around, she has no idea who is pushing the stroller!

while you may not have the myriad of "privileges" that i have,
like getting up 6 times a night,
having your nipples bleed,
having your whoo-hoo stitched up,
having the man that stayed with you through pregnancy with another mans child roll over and say "we might as well give up for tonight, she's not going to stay sleep for us to get any loving",
and being called a whore by the darling babies biodads mother father grandmother siblings and ENTIRE extended family, and have them tell everyone about it...
having said beautiful baby turn into a toddler who refuses the bottle and won't let momma have one night with her DF..... etc etc

while you may not be lucky enough to do that.... you were given 2 years of chances. to do the very simple things i asked.
not for me.
for her.

for her i asked that you grow some balls and tell your mother, father, sisters, brothers, grandparents, so-called friends to shut up. since you KNOW the baby is yours, and have never said otherwise, and i have offered to do a paternity test if you did question it, its very important to me that you tell these assholes spreading the word that "god-forbid we didnt know if that child would come out black or brown" that you tell these assholes. that they shut up as it will hurt your darling baby girl when she grows up to hear these things on the playground.

instead, you sat by, and she has a legacy of "her biological paternal grandparents, greatgrandparents and uncles and aunt all say she could belong to a dozen men"

for her. i asked you to stop doing drugs and cigarettes and partying like a drunk everyday. for her. so that when she grew up she would not have to have a friend on the playground say "see those 3 bums over there, one is your daddy"

instead. you can't help it. your life is so hard and it makes you so upset to see your daughter with my DF and i....... and you simply can't say no to your friends. you claim you arent addicted. you just do it to fit in. WHAT A FINE QUALITY FOR A FATHER... "must fit in with coked out friends"

for her. i asked you to move out of the crazies house. so that when you wanted to visit your daughter, she could come over. as i would not allow her to go to the house where your family would go nuts on her and hurt her with their stupidity. for her. i thought it would be great and you could talk and play with her instead of simply strolling her about...

instead. for the past 2 years, you asked 1 person about a possible rental. and decided that would waste too much money. because you simply HAVE to go see your girlfriend, and flying and partying and renting houses in the big city is expensive.

which brings me to that. a woman that you see on the road and she points and says "hey you" and you sleep with that night is not good stepmom material. ( i was not model material either, but i have changed as you have never disputed) since you love your darling daughter so much i would think you would make a better choice. even though you have seen this woman 4-5 times over the past few months and had sex these times, it does not constitue a dedicated relationship.

so here it is simply: if you LOVE your daughter, like you say, and you will do anything, like you have said and have not made any action: you will have to stop throwing your entire months salary away to see this woman you love so much and have just met and must party with. and get a lawyer.

it's not that i "just don't like her' or i am jealous. i HATE that when i said "choose the baby or your slut" you said "i cant give up my slut. she's nice. i love her" when you should have said "well i dont want too. but if thats the only way ok' to which i would have said "Wow. THAT is really something. i am so impressed in a way i havent been ever....you dont have to give up ur g/f, just dont ever think you'll watch my baby while yall are partying and best be ready for my random drug testing"

so.......child support and visitation go hand in hand.

snot that i want the money. its that i NEED to see some sort of action. after all i have done for her in 2 years.... i have heard nothing but empty promises from you. and i cry. i do. cause you must not really know her. cause if you did. you would love her as much as i do. there would be no choice for me. not a 10 seconds delay to think about it....

but at the end is. its sad. because in one way. i really hope. hope. that this will force you to say "my child is important. i must wake up." but why should i have to force it? why do i even have to make demands. demands for you to do whats best for her. shouldnt you as the most loving dad ever be running to me. asking and begging to do anything and everything for her.................

and i know. you won't choose her. you wont. you'd rather live at home with those that hate her, those that have to look the other way when they see her. you'd rather hang out with those friends that say you are an idiot and she doesnt belong to you, those same friends that didnt think enough of you to warn you about me if i was so bad....you'd rather throw away every dollar you have to get some pussy from someone you don't know, but "seems nice", then see your daughter.....

and when i say you'll never see her again. and i dont want to mean it. but if you can't make one little sacrifice for her. not one little thing. not 1 dollar in a bank account..... not even moving out so you could play with her more in 2 YEARS!!!!

then you really don't deserve her.

you don't know what love is.... and now that i do. that unconditional doing HARD things i dont like for my child. for her good. planning for her future....i wont settle for anyone to be in her life that doesnt really LOVE her. and 2 years of chances is enough.

i would say i expect to hear from your lawyer. but i wont.

the thought that wasting money on a lawyer to be able see your soon to be 2 year old daughter.....the thought of wasting that money and having to lose a woman you've had sex with a few dozen times in the past half year just is unthinkable.

and i dont care if every person i know says "bad mother. she should be able to know her father" i dont care.

they've called me a whore before.

i am a good mother. and i will protect her from your miserable failings and "love". just hope your gf doesnt dump you too soon. wouldnt want to have to deal with your renewed attetion on us again...

btw... she has a father. a man that has kissed her goodnight since she was born. a man that works hard and will be paying for her college and everything else, without being asked, he just assumes its his duty, cause he pretends like she is his. a man that changes her poppie diapers when the 1st time i asked you said "i dont know how to do THAT" a man that sometimes doesn't get to party everynight and have lots of sex, because he is taking care of her. a man that said "by the time she can write i hope she can have my last name", a man that when ive lost patience and can't take it...dances and sings UB40 to her. and a man that whispers to her when he thinks i'm asleep "doesnt matter if he doesnt love you Toria, ill take care of you".................