Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Ranting on the In-Laws


Posted by Anonymous (as always, no relation to previous Anonymous posters. )
If you'd like to use this space to vent or rant or tell the stories/secrets/confessions of your dangerous maternal (or paternal!) mind, send me an e-mail and you too can enjoy the refuge of the Basement...

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Okay, so I don't know where this is going to go. My blog has gotten more public to our circle due to my husband being proud and letting things "slip." As a result, there are certain things that I can't rant about.

The main thing? I think I hate my in-laws. There I said it. Due to a situation with our son, it was all blamed on me. There are other things that led up to it. Things like running her finger through the dust on my stove that I missed when cleaning for their visit with her eyebrow up. But the last phone call to my husband was too much. They blamed me for my oldest's learning disabilities because I work. I work for the insurance that will pay for my youngest's heart surgery coming up. But, "she would rather work for those great accolades than stay home with her son - it's easier to put him on drugs! Why not! She makes all the decisions anyway!" My husband hasn't been talking them since.

I hate them.

16 comments:

A Dad And A Geek said...

Ick. There are times I wonder whether people think before they open their mouths.

Kudos to your husband for sticking with you.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that your husband supports you.

Your in-laws sound like terrible people. I'm sorry.

Awesome Mom said...

Yikes!!!! I would hate them too if they were my inlaws. I am glad that your husband is supportive. BTW My son is also having a heart surgery (and has already been through others) so I know how stressful it is.

Michele said...

I am so sorry for the crap your in-laws are giving you, especially coupled with the stress of a sick child.

I hate mine too. Maybe hate is a strong word, but I am pretty close. They drive me crazy telling me how wonderful their son (mh DH) is while I bust my ass working full time and also running a clean, well organized house and parenting two kids. I know their son is great, that is why I married him, but would it kill them once to acknowledge all of the hard work I do???

Geez, I feel a blog posting coming....

You have my sympathy, my empathy, and prayers for your sons successful surgery.

Andrea said...

What bastards! I have a few in-law problems myself and I constantly wonder how my husband came from that gene pool. But you seem to have found the extra judgmental version of in-laws. I'm very sorry, and also very glad your husband is supportive of you. How dare they blame you for anything when they aren't in your shoes!? I know people say take the high road and just bite your tongue, but sounds to me like a good verbal lashing is in order just to point out to them that they haven't a clue what you're going through.

Lotta said...

Got some of those in-laws myself. Thank GOD your husband was on your side on this one. That could be a deal breaker.

Jaelithe said...

That is awful! Did your husband tell them you are working so you can afford the heart surgery? I really hope he did.

Some mothers HAVE TO WORK to support their families. It's not like it was in 1955. Healthcare, housing and food all cost more than they used to. I'm a SAHM who works part-time from home, but I am only able to stay home because my husband has a very good job, and even so we are struggling to afford a middle-class lifestyle.

Jerks.

Besides, even if you were working just because you liked working, some families are just better off that way. Some mothers are terribly depressed if they have to stay home, and studies have shown that kids in good daycares are better off than kids with SAHMs who are too depressed about their change in lifestyle to care for their children properly.

Hey, if they do read your blog, maybe you should post about this. Not in a "I hate them" sort of way, but in an, "I am so terribly hurt by my family members' criticism of me during this incredibly difficult time; I am doing the best I can to take care of all the members of my family, and what I need right now to help my children is help, not criticism" way. Because someone ought to tell them they're out of line.

Anonymous said...

Argh! In-laws!

I have *seriously* considered consulting a lawyer to see if it is possible to write a will that states that whoever gets guardianship of my kid(s) WILL NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LEAVE THEM UNSUPERVISED WITH my father-in-law and my mom. Yup, my mom makes the list. Emotionally abuse me, fine whatever, I can't change the past. Me failing to protect my child from her, UNFORGIVEABLE!

I am glad your hubby stands up for you, because, mine doesn't.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad your husband is with you on this. Mine refuses to see the idiocy of his family.

Anonymous said...

I firmly believe that anyone, and that includes grandparents to your wee ones, that insist on being rude, snide and negative and constsantly butt-into things that are absolutely none of their business should probably be phased out of their grandchildren's lives. Sure. Give them a chance to correct their behaviour first; but make sure they understand you're serious - if they can't keep their negative thoughts and opinions to themselves, then they can forget about being a part of all your lives. Life is too short and hard enough. And it's only a matter time that they start saying horribly negative things about you to your own kids.

mamatulip said...

Kudos to your husband for sticking by you. There have been many times where I've felt like I was up against my husband AND my MIL.

((hugs))

macboudica said...

Geez, I think I hate them, too. Good for your husband for being supportive.

Anonymous said...

I hate them, too. they deserve to be completely cut off.

Anonymous said...

I am with you. I hate my in-laws too. I will need to post the story here. In-laws suck and husbands who don't support you suck even more. Kudos to your husband for sticking up for you.

Silly Hily said...

Oh man, the finger across the stove would have been enough to bring me to my boiling point.
It really is so wonderful that your husband stuck with YOU b/c I don't even want to imagine what this post would have been had he not.
Good luck to you, your husband, and your son.

crazymumma said...

I have not read the other comments, but I want you to know that I really really really know how you feel, but for different reasons. I hope your husband can support you, although he may feel caught in the middle. Anne