Yesterday I received an email from my BIL titled, "[SIL]'s Birthday!". His wife, my SIL's birthday is Saturday. I consider myself pretty close to SIL, so a few weeks ago, I got her a birthday card, a gift card, and got a birthday card for Pippi to send to her aunt. I was waiting to send them, because sometimes we see her around her birthday (though this year, I was doubting it due to some family circumstances,
etc). So when I got the email, my first response was that maybe BIL was having a party for her. Cool.
Not quite... he was, and I quote, soliciting me, and other friends he had emailed, to send her cards for her birthday. Something he said is called a "card shower" (an idea he credited to his mother... my MIL... oy).
I've never heard of such an idea, and frankly, it sounds absurd. I was so mystified that I googled it, and yep, I found links to people requesting "card showers". Ok, now, I understand for Aunt Bessie who is turning 99 in the nursing home. Or for a family member who is very ill... or something of the like. But for my SIL? Who is turning a rather uneventful age? I'm confused.
My main point of confusion is why people have to be asked, reminded, or even "solicited" to be considerate and thoughtful. Sure - people forget birthdays. They forget cards and they forget to call. My best bud has mixed up my birthday a time or two - but I would never want to think that my nearest and dearest have to be point blank asked to remember me.
I already had a card for her. I sent her a card when she went back to work after her baby came. I sent her a card for mother's day (ok, I guess I am a card person). I was tempted to hit reply and say "yeah, got it covered...". Because you don't have to ASK me to do what family SHOULD do. And... I almost get a little offended at that idea.
I know, this is trivial. But things like this make me concerned about things like human decency. Maybe it's the type of people they are (my SIL did send out a rather business-like email to me and her other various friends asking them to join them at a pumpkin patch on Saturday in Oct... surprise, no 'friends' turned up).
Call me casual. Call me not 'with-it'. Call me old-fashioned. I'm not rsvp'ing to the card shower. (And thanks for letting me vent in a safe place!)