Goodbye, Friend

Posted by Anonymous.

Dear Friend,

There was a reason I didn't hide that Easter Egg. It was a test. You failed.

No doubt when you get back from your trip you'll say that I know you have no self-control when it comes to chocolate and you'll offer to replace it. That's not the point. I don't see why I have to hide what belongs to me from you. You are not a child. You are a grown woman and I treat you the way I would treat a grown woman. It's not like I buy chocolate on purpose to tempt you, I buy it so I can eat it myself when I feel like it. I happened to feel like eating chocolate when I got home from visiting my family today, and it was gone.

This may seem like a petty thing to complain about, but it's one of a collection of things that make living with you a pain in the proverbial. We are best friends, and I do like living with my best friend, but not when she's so wrapped up in her own life and dramas that she barely talks to me, except to tell me what her other friends say and do. I'm pretty sick of hearing you say "well, I live with you," as an excuse for not interacting with me. A little common courtesy, asking me how may day was for example, or leaving your room to hold a conversation. I'd really like that.

I'm sick of always having to do the dishes by myself, and your little suggestion of only doing our own washing up is antisocial, not to mention a handy way of pinning it all on me when I make dinner for both of us. I'll consider it when you stop eating what I cook. I also have a big problem with you bitching about buying the milk and the toilet paper the last few times, when it was pretty obvious you used all the gas while I was away that time and I never said a thing. I'm also responsible for most of the groceries in this house, and you keeping the radiator in your room on all day while you're working in there is a huge drain on the electricity I am mostly responsible for.

I was disappointed when you said you were going to move abroad, and then said I was crazy for wanting to stay here. Now I think I'll be glad to see you gone. I really don't like that you thought I'd be forced to move somewhere else without you and you were going to do it anyway. I don't think it's down to any malice on your part, but it means you are horrifically irresponsible.

And that's what it comes right down to, isn't it? People who can up and leave so quickly and with so little thought can claim they love to travel, but they're really just running from responsibility. You're resentful that you have to be responsible for anyone but yourself. As much as I love you, I had to agree with your ex-boyfriend; you are awfully self-absorbed. You hate people who are self-absorbed and boring, and yet you can be one of the dullest people I know. You're in real danger of becoming one of those people who does nothing but work or surf the net all day and then go drinking every weekend.

So, my advice before you set off for pastures new? Learn some self-control for starters. Not just with the chocolate, but how about getting yourself up in the morning? Or not putting off your work so you can surf the web? And maybe interact with the people around you in ways that don't involve drinking or the internet? Maybe just take some time away from your computer for a whole day, see what happens.

It's a real shame our friendship has deteriorated to the point that I'm posting passive-aggressive messages online about you. I can start making a real effort to repair it, but I can't be your cheerleader forever. Sooner or later you'll have to do it alone.

.....