Posted by Anonymous.
Fertility treatment sucks. Why are so many women who don’t want a kid getting pregnant and I can’t? It is like a bad dream. Sex has become robotic and like a chore on my to do list. I don’t feel sexual at all! I never had so many dildo ultrasounds in my whole life. Every few days you get poked with a needle and open your legs. Every woman in the waiting room has a story and anticipation about her. Some woman bring their children while waiting for appointments and everyone stares as everyone knows that is what we are all seeking. People at work ask questions about when is the next baby on the way? So insensitive – I joke that maybe there will never be another baby, they laugh tell you not to worry and that just forget about it and then it will happen. Doh. I don’t think so.
And the costs involved. Man, why doesn’t healthcare provide coverage for fertility. We have come so far in this day and age that us woman are waiting til our ovaries are dried up, our eggs suck, our fallaopian tubes are scarred with living, all because of our careers, and now the price we pay is expensive. The price we pay is maybe never having kids or families like we wanted. I never learned that in university when I was getting my BA, my MA, establishing my career.
If I had known all this years ago, maybe I would have had a child earlier even though I wasn’t really ready. Are you ever ready ? Your life changes forever. When you are younger you have more energy and more playfulness. When you are older you are more weary but wiser. So is there a perfect time in this modern age to have a baby?
The perfect time for me is now. But now may come and go, and I will grieve. My uterus aches when I hold or see new babies. Next time, let it be me.