Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Posted by Anonymous

To the wife of my husband's cousin:

You know what, I don't NEED 37 pictures of your children pushing a toy car around on your driveway. Nor did I need that album of party photos that included the out-of-focus shots of tortilla chip bags, or the one with 10 pictures of your bathroom. For the love of God, learn to edit!

To my mother:

I can't believe you just made me feel guilty for not wanting to spend an extra $600 to take a 6 a.m. flight with a 4-hour-layover - with a THREE-YEAR-OLD. During our visit, I'll be telling her to go bug you when she wakes up at 4:30 because of the time change.

To my husband:

If you're so freaked out about us having an only child, how about you make it worth my while to have a second one? How about YOU get up at the crack of dawn with our kid, cook the dinner, do the weekly shopping, do the laundry, take care of the dishes, handle the gardening, paint the house, take on free-lance projects and hold down a full-time job, and see how you feel about another kid. Yeah. I thought so.

To my sister:

After I tell you a funny story about my 3-year-old being bossy, you tell me that you are concerned that she will grow up to be a bully unless she is properly socialized and that I need to have another kid. And when I warn you it's a touchy subject and I'd rather not speak about it, you start crying and hang up on me? Get over yourself.

To my supervisor:

Your obsession with 'buy-in' from the rest of the department on the projects I am working on is co-opting the last remaining shreds of creative joy I took in my job. In case you're wondering, yes, I am deliberately digging my heels to make your life harder. Making you hate your job too is the only power I have left, and I intend to use it.


Anonymous said...

Love it! And, unfortunately, live it as well. Great post. And you use that power against your supervisor for as long as you have it.

Anonymous said...

Ditto on the only child comments... you go girl!!

Fran Loosen said...

{raising the roof with my hands}

Speak it! God, isn't it awesome to have a place to rant?! I would so tell you to go kick some more ass if I were having a coffee with you (or wine at this time of night). Whew!

Anonymous said...

excellent rant.....totally excellent....somehow i feel better just by association
ha ha

Poppy Buxom said...

Please come out of the closet so I can cyberstalk you and make you be my new best friend.

Major Bedhead said...

Heh. Excellent. I love rants like this.

Gina said...

Ditto on the only child comments too! I loved this post. It really spoke to me, for me, whatever. I appreciate you and all that you do to stay sane! GO YOU!

Anonymous said...

Great rant! And for you and anyone else afflicted by these people who think there's something wrong with parenting an only child: I am personally convinced that none of those people have siblings themselves, otherwise they wouldn't be so fricking quick to recommend it.

Anonymous said...

OP here —

Thanks so much for all the me toos. It's really nice to hear I'm not the only one dealing with these frustrations.

And, bonus, while she didn't apologize outright, my sister has indirectly admitted that she was being a pinhead, so we're good again.

kittenpie said...

Can't believe your sister had the nerve to say that to you - no wonder you needed a good rant!