Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Posted by Anonymous.

Imagine you had a grandchild who was immune deficient. Now, just say you had another grandchild who came down with gastro and then add into the mix that an arrangement had been made with two other grandkids (who you don’t see very often) for a sleepover. Would you then go and visit the infectious grandchild just before the said sleep over, considering those kids are the siblings of the immune deficient child?

Would you not tell the parents until the big kids had been in the house for 24 hours that you had been to see the sick kid?

Would you carry on and make the eldest grandchild feel bad when she wants to come home (for fear of infecting her sister with gastro) when she finds out that the still infectious child is coming to be babysat at the sleepover house?

What about if the grandfather suddenly came down with the stomach bug? Would you tell the grandchild she was selfish for wanting to come home?

As the mother of the immune deficient child, would you be angry because you know that once the gastro hits your house (and it will) and the immune deficient child gets it, it will mean another week in hospital?

I don’t get it.

No, my parents in law don’t get it.

Either that or they just don’t care.

We have a mess of kids. The bug will run through them like wild fire.

Our family dynamics are already strained. Very strained.

We don’t need this and yet the two (now infectious children) are on their way home.

I don’t usually swear but



Courtney said...

Oh wow i am so so sorry. Sometimes people just do not get the gravity of their actions. i will be praying for you all!

Awesome Mom said...

Wow that is beyond stupid! It sounds like someone needs a clue. I hope that your predictions are wrong and that your kids stay healthy. Nothing is worse than hospital time around Christmas.

addy said...

What a horribly inconsiderate thing to do. That really sucks.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry.

I think many of this have this situation on a much smaller scale. And it seems to come down to, we parent differently than our parents did. We have more information. You are in a position to be pro-active. I don't think our parents had that - sickness came and went, children survived. Now, in your case it's much more severe. I doubt it's that she doesn't care, but maybe that she doesn't *get* it? Maybe the next hospital stay (I hope it's not soon) she could come. And you could arrange for a doctor to talk to you in front of her. You never know, she might become your daughter's second biggest advocate.

As for your other daughter, clearly you're raising an empathetic kid - good for you. Being more concerned for her sister's health then staying with her cousins and grandparents. You're doing a good job!

Stacy said...

That sucks. My son has a peanut allergy and people don't always understnad what it means for him if he is exposed. They don't get that it could kill him. That if he picks up your kids sippy cup after your kid has eaten a peanut butter sandwhich that the trasfer of the protien from the cup to my kids hand to his mouth could very well kill him. The same thing could happen if they hug, kiss, shake or hold hands as 2 year olds often do. Yet everytime we get together with certain friends they always have peanut butter to feed to thier child. Why? Because thier kids need to eat peanut butter far out weighs my childs health and well being, at least to those parents.

I think your family just doesn't understand and until they do it will be very stressful and painful.

So sorry your going through this and I hope you manage to avoid the stomach bug.

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry. I would be furious, enraged, hurt beyond measure.

I think (know) that I would, if I were in your situation, not allow my children to spend unsupervised time with the grandparents. Sleepovers, nope, not a chance, not if there is no understanding of the potential gravity of their thoughtless actions for the health of your ill child, or for the emotional health of your other children when placed in such a situation.

I understand needing a break, (do I ever!) and wanting children to foster strong ties with their grandparents, but not at the risk of their physical or emotional health.

Again, I am so sorry for you, and for your children. (((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

like the others, i would be so upset. but i wanted to say how wonderful i think it is that your other child actually wanted to leave and come home rather than stay and pick up germs - how wonderful that she is aware of her siblings situation and sensitive to that.

Anonymous said...

I don't blame you for being angry. Not one bit.
For most of us, a "little tummy bug" is an uncomfortable inconvenience. For some, it can be life-threatening.

Anonymous said...

What is it w/ in-laws and not thinking!? My ILs are easily the most thoughtless people I've ever met (well, yours would be up there if I'd met them!). I don't get it. I don't get how they could have raised such an awesome son while being so completely unaware of how their actions affect others.

I'm so sorry! I hope the illness passed you by. I'm sorry about your ILs. Some people just don't think!