Posted by Anonymous.
I literally cannot forgive my mother, but the problem is, I can’t forget her either. My life would be so much easier if she were to just disappear to a far away planet so I would never have to deal with her again.
My mother is in her early fifties and she has eight children, four of the eight are under the age of 11, and the other four don’t speak to her. We try to avoid her like the plague. She is bi-polar, manic-depressive, with a splash of OCD.
I found out about a year ago that her bi-polar had got so out-of-control that her house had filled with junk from the top to the bottom. She filled it with random things, literally anything that she could buy. Shopping feeds her need. I am not sure what that need, or hunger is but I know that it is insatiable. The house was in such despair that there was no food, and the silver ware drawers were filled with roaches.
They have absolutely no money. My mother has a Masters in Biology and my Stepfather has a Ph.D in Business Communications. They both were at one time very successful but this lifestyle, and all of these problems now control their lives. They abuse prescription medications and spend most of the day in a drug induced anti-depressant comma.
In my mother’s last manic moment, she decided that she wanted a divorce. We found out that she was emailing some random man in Oklahoma, who I later discovered was the same man that destroyed her first marriage. She picked up last Christmas day, left her children and moved to Oklahoma. She bought a car along the way, but she basically just drove the thing right off the lot.
My sister is a little older than me, and she was in a position to take the children. She took them last spring until my mother could get her house under control. My mother sent the children with a stash of medicine, enough to feed an ADD army of children. We promptly called the doctor that was prescribing the medication, and then put the rest down the toilet. The girls said that they needed this medication because their mom said that they “were stupid”. Oh, I forgot to add that they were withholding them from school.
We sent the kids back after a few months, because my sister said that my mom got one more shot. We make sure that the kids are in school, and being fed. My mom finally got a job, but she is still the same. We are good for the next few months, until she does something manic again.
It’s this never-ending cycle. It wasn’t always this way, and I think that’s the part that hurts the most.
I haven’t seen my mom since my junior year in college, about four years ago. I spoke to her last May, when she told me she wasn’t sure if she could handle that I was a dirty liberal and dating a Jew.
She doesn’t know that I just got my first job as a law clerk, or that I know that I have found the greatest man and that I am going to spend my life with him. There are a few milestones in life that you want share with your mother. Sometimes I pick up the phone to call her, but then I hang up, because I know that the woman on the other end isn’t the mother than I know, or want to know.
I have a Step mom, but it isn’t the same. I think she tries to love me like a daughter, but I don’t have mother-daughter moments with her, like I did with my mom.
I keep hoping that she will come back to me, and be the mom that she was when I was little.
She sent me a birthday card yesterday. She is trying to talk to me again.
I don’t know if I am strong enough for her games this time.
Does anyone know if this gets better? Any advice on how to deal with her or people with mental illness?