Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Dear Ex

Posted by ANTM.

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

You suck. I am one of the nicest people on the planet and I hate you. Seriously – I hate you. Right now, as I am writing this you are messaging me wondering what it is that you did to push me away.

In the beginning, things were bright and shiny like all new relationships are. I liked you. We moved in together. I started to question your judgment two months in when you allowed your ex-fiance to sleep over night in our house together. Without asking me first. I let it slide since she was pregnant and obviously over you but I should have left you right then.

I am 6 years younger than you and I was straight out of college when we started dating. You partied just as much as I did. Funny thing is, I gave up partying once I got a job two months after graduation. You are 31 now and still go out every weekend. Not just out for a few beers with the guys. It is more like drink as much alcohol as you can because it might be banned tomorrow kind of out. Then you decide it might be a good idea to come home and wake up your girlfriend for sex. Who really cares that she has to get up and work in two hours right? Remember the time you threw up all over the bathroom and woke me up at 3 am to clean it up? Classy…

I moved away for a while to give you some time to grow up. Not just down the street away either. I moved to a whole new country. You would call and write. Messages of how much you missed me and you wanted to get married. You wanted to have babies. You wanted to move away and start a life together. I was pretty convinced you had changed so I moved back to the very town I hated for you.

I signed a one year contract for a job that I cannot stand. Miranda from the Devil Wears Prada is totally my boss. Each day it takes every ounce of strength I have to prevent myself from stabbing her with my letter opener. You promised after one year we could move to a bigger city. You took me to a ring store to look at rings. Then something happened and you stopped all of that niceness. I should have known better but I guess I didn’t.

You started going out every weekend again. You stopped talking about marriage with me and instead started talking to every girl who would look at you. So you know what? I stopped talking to you. For one week – complete silence. Then my grandfather had a stroke. A bad one. I hadn’t slept in three days. It was the night before my family was going to turn off the machines. I was going to the hospital the next day to say good-bye. I cried myself to sleep that night. You went out and got drunk. Around 4:30 am, you came home, stripped off all of your clothes and woke me up. You asked if I could help you out. When I told you to get the hell away from me, do you know what you did? You laid on the floor next to the couch I was sleeping on and asked if I would just go down on you for a bit. I should have kicked you directly in the groin but I didn’t.

I moved out two weeks later and you still cannot seem to figure out why. Perhaps I am just a selfish bitch but in reality I think it has more to do with the fact that you are a child and I would like to be with a man. You don’t love me anyway. You just love the idea of me being around to do your laundry, wash your dishes, and clean up your vomit after a rough night at the bar. So you can pretty much go screw yourself…

Sincerely,

Your ex-girlfriend

P.S. You can stop with the damn messages that I don’t care about your feelings and how you just don’t understand how I could be so selfish because frankly, I don’t give a damn!

17 comments:

Steph said...

You sound like you are so much better off! And good for you being smart enough to see him for what he was instead of thinking he would change. You'll find someone you deserve!

Joy said...

I am sorry for you that you had to go through this with him, but you got it right in the end. You will get your man, instead of the boy-child, and make sure you set the bar HIGH for your man! And then keep it there!!!

adriana said...

Wow what an asshole! You are not being REMOTELY selfish! In fact, it's high time you get selfish! Do your own thing, and fuck that loser.

Hayley said...

OY. You know, my ex started all that behavior... AFTER we got married.

You are way too smart for this asshole.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for leaving his ass in the dust. Have you told him that you don't care how he feels?

I dated a guy in college that treated me like crap and when I finally ended the relationship, he kept calling me, begging me to come back. One day he called and said he missed me and asked if I missed him. I flat out told him, "Hell no. You treated me like shit. Why would I miss that?". It felt so good to say that to him and after that conversation, we never spoke again. It was the best day ever!

katesaid said...

Do the "good riddance" sorts of comments help at all?

Because, seriously, you're better off without. I'm sad for you, because of the inevitable regrets and self-doubt that a breakup brings on, but glad that you were able to end it before marriage and kids.

Anonymous said...

Fuck! If I was as smart as you back then, I wouldn't be married. Damn damn damn.

Tiffi33 said...

girl, YOU are not selfish at all. you are grown up and insightful & have learned from this waste of space 'man'..

keep going and do NOT look back...

congrats on being a grown up and tell him to go find some other stupid woman to do his dirty work..

fucker. guys like that make me want to scream.

Georgia said...

Good for you! You don't owe this guy any explination, because he'll never understand. This is why you couldn't pay me to go back to my early 20's. The shit I put up with back then wouldn't fly for a second now. It's why I'm really okay with being single for however long it takes to find a worthwhile dude.

Anonymous said...

I dated a guy like this once, only it was more emotional abuse and not as much drinking. We broke up and got back together many times before I figured out that he was a looser and I needed to get away from him.

We finally broke things off about 3 years ago and I've been so much happier. I run into him from time to time and he looks awful and I know he's not doing that great.

I never gave him an explanation either, I just left and let him live with what he had done. It sucks to go through something like that but in the end it can only make you stronger!

Anonymous said...

They say a lot of relationship problems happen because women get married hoping the man will change, while men get married hoping the woman won't!! Good for you for knowing what you want, need and deserve up front! I hope you find it-- I did!!

Anonymous said...

Good for you! I'm so glad you saw through his bullshit.

ANTM said...

Thank you for all of your support. I would have posted this on my own blog but he reads it and I really do not need anymore drama from him.

I know I did the right thing but sometimes I feel like that was my last shot at getting married, having kids, etc. Why I think that I have no idea because I know there are plenty of people out there... I guess it's just one of those things that goes hand in hand with growing up and getting older.

Molly C said...

wow, he SUCKS. a lot. hugs

motherbumper said...

He sucks, you rock, and I'm so glad you had it together to realize what he was before the commitment became any more binding.

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for you that you left this sorry ass excuse for a man!

You did the right thing, and I'm so glad you respect yourself and your value enough to leave a situation like that.

I wish you the best of luck in finding a better partner!

Anonymous said...

did you ever actually tell him that he was treating you like shit? Did you ever give him suggestions for how to not treat you like shit? Some people need to be told. Then they need to digest and learn. Some people never learn.

But did you ever tell him? WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT YOU JUST TOLD THE INTERNET?