I need help here people, h-e-l-p.....
My Bestie has a new man after 10 years. She is deliriously happy. He is younger, good looking, devoted, besotted. He is in theatre. -Ish.
He is also a wanker. Bless him.
A lovable wanker but a wanker nonetheless.
My husband, in particular, thinks he is a wanker.
Recently he has become involved with a 'very good band'. They are doing a show together for an arts festival next year. We want to hire the band for the presentation evening of a national competition.
We stated quite clearly that we were paying for 6 band members, not 7. We do not want my Bestie's beloved in his clown outift doing juggling tricks in front of said (very good) band and associated interstate audience.
Recently she has noted that we are lucky because he will be an 'free added extra', to rev up the crowd.
OH MY GOD.
My husband has specifically stated that he does NOT want, nay he would be EMBARRASSED by said beloved boyfriend cavorting somewhat incongrously in front of 'very good ' band. What the **** am I going to do? Even if I risk upsetting my Bestie by telling her that we do not want her (very sensitive and insecure) beloved.....how does she tell HIM????? How can I put her in that position? How do I tell my husband that the embarrassing boyfriend will be giving us the benefit of his expertise FREELY!!!!!!??????? Whether we want him to or not? I have the sinking, breath excising feeling of being trapped, underwater, between two very, very sharp rocks............. |
9 comments:
If you can leave your friend out of it, I'd go that way. Can you husband talk to the band and make specific arrangements not to have the Wanker's sideshow as part of your gig?
sounds that a tough one. sorry just stumbled upon your blog via one of my friends...BUT..i have had this happen to me..and i had to weigh both sides...and tell my husband to SUCK IT UP..because i can hurt his feelings and we still talk later. It was the less of the two evils
good luck!
ronee
I love the idea of having your husband speak to the band directly... gets you completely out of it! Then it would be the band members telling the new boyfriend that they plan to perform with no additions to the show.
Upon hearing the news - when your friend will most likely come to you, you could act really positive and tell her how wonderful that he'll be able to be with her instead and have an opportunity to be introduced around... instead of being pressured to perform infront of "friends".
Not a fun or easy situation though - hope you survive unscathed!
Agree with the above comments, have the band break the news. It leaves you out of it.
Let's say this isn't an option for whatever reason. I would then have your husband break the news directly to The Wanker. It really is between the two of them. And, really, is it the worst thing that The Wanker is angry at your husband? I'm guessing no.
yuppers, band or better yet, band management should deal with this one
Ouch but I'm going to say Jill's idea that your husband speak directly with the band is the best way to do it. But maybe give the best friend a gentle heads-up that the new boyfriend's act is suitable for the event despite his generous offer to do it for free (no need to add that his act sucks)
Sounds to me like this is a business arrangement, so keep it business, not personal. Have your husband (if he's in charge of hiring) talk to the new boyfriend or the band's manager to make arrangements. Although, really, he might not have a choice if he just shows up...
What an awkward situation!
Yeah, not fair for you to have to be the go-between hear. Tell your hubby that if he feels strongly about it, he can address the situation himself.
I think you tell the band that you're hiring that you're not interested in having him. Let them tell him.
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