Posted by Anonymous.
Dear everyone in my family,
Dear everyone in my family,
I am sick of you all.
My darling pain in the ass in-laws, I am tired of playing nice with you. You two do not give a shit about my kids. You act like you do but yet you only see them when you want to look good for other people (as of this post you have not seen my daughter since July and the boy since Christmas). My husband is in a war zone but yet in the last two fucking years you have never once NEVER ONE FUCKING TIME asked to see if I needed a break, could you take the boy for the night so I could have a girls day with the teenager. YOU HAVE NEVER ONE FUCKING TIME asked to see if I needed something done to the house, if anything needed fixed and you only live a few blocks from the house. I AM FUCKING TIRED OF IT ALL. You blame me for it all because you hate my guts, well guess what I don't like yours either.
My daughter, I know you are almost out of high school, I know that you are almost a grown woman, but guess what? You are still my child, quit giving me attitude. I don't care if your friends don't have to help around their houses, you are under my roof and I am trying to teach you responsibility, what a majority of your friends will never learn if they are not taught it by their parents. Quit playing like it is poor poor you, who has to help me because Daddy is Gone, I am tired of it, I am tired of you letting everyone think you are such a Cinderella, you are not, you do not have that many thing that you have to do, just the dishes and taking out the trash, that is not too much. IF YOU WANT ME TO TREAT YOU LIKE AN ADULT FUCKING ACT LIKE ONE IT CAN'T BE BOTH WAYS.
Son, you are 8, act like it, quit the fucking whining. I can't stand it, I cannot handle the yelling the constant fucking yelling (both my yelling at you and you yelling for no fucking reason). SLEEP IN YOUR OWN GOD DAMN BED. Pick up after yourself, clean up your own messes and wipe your own fucking ass. I am not your maid and I am not your own personal ass wiper. Please quit giving me attitude and please please please quit being up my ass. You do not have to entertained EVERY FUCKING WAKING MOMENT OF EVERY DAMN DAY. You can play on your own. Go to school without a fuss and stop the damn whining. Listen to me, quit sassing me, quit telling me no that you don't have to do whatever it is I am telling you. Just be good for once dammit.
My husband, you may be miles away from me and I can't bitch too much about you except you think I am a miracle worker and can do it all, NEWS FLASH, I am not wonder fucking woman. I cannot do it all. I try but I am only a lowly human and can only do so many things. So if I don't get it all done give me a damn break. I am trying to be mother and father for our kids, I am trying to take care of it all, bills, house repairs, auto maintenance, take care of the animals, take care of the kids and sometimes try to take care of myself.
Love,
Mom and wife
12 comments:
I don't know you or where you live, but if I did, I would give you a hug and bring you a bottle of wine (if you were inclined toward imbibing the alcohol)! You need a break, but it doesn't seem like you're going to get one, so I hope it helped for you to get things off your chest that you've been seething about for awhile. Can the teenager stay with the boy so you can go get a manicure or a cup of coffee or just sit in a local bookstore and read a book or a magazine my yourself -- or whatever floats your boat? Is there a neighbor or a friend who can help you out because it sounds like you're on the verge of a meltdown, and having been there myself (under much less dramatic circumstances), I know it's no fun. I hope you can find a way to get a break and a little time for yourself. Because you deserve it honey!!
Jill,
Thanks I do need it and I was on the verge of a meltdown but the doctor gave me nice little pills. The teenager refuses to watch her brother and all I would get would be phone call after phone call.
I'm so sorry you're doing this all on your own. If I knew you and lived near you, I'd come clean your house and babysit your son. And I'd make my husband do all your repairs.
Hang in there!
Okay...so they want to send you an ESCORT??????? (Like you have time for that!!!!) OR do they want you to BECOME an escort? (Maybe you sound like you need some time away from your family, and the perfect vacation would be in the sex-slave trade of India?)---Hoo boy....I think I'll just keep MY complaints to myself. After all, at least I KNOW what the current rate is here for getting fucked over!!!!!
Anyway----hang in there, sweetie...and DON'T go to India...at least nottill the boy child reaches his teens!!!!
I think I love you. :-) Thanks for showing that even when people seem like they have it 100% together they need a little rant every now and again.
Trust me - your daughter will some day appreciate that you taught her responsibility. And hopefully your son will grow up and start wiping his own ass. Because seriously, it's time for that.
Sounds to me like you're a great mom who just needs a little break. I'll cross my fingers for you that you get it!
Wow! I hope you feel a little better getting that off your chest.
Could you show an edited version of this to your kids, so they could buy a clue? I'm guessing that it wouldn't help with the in-laws. How about your husband? I can't imagine what he is going though in a war zone, but they are still his kids, so maybe he could intervene with the kids or his parents?
I hope you can get a little breathing room. Sure sounds like you need it.
Good luck! I'm sure there are a lot of people pulling for you out here in internet land!
::Hugs::
I'm not a Mom so I can't pretend to know what you're going through. And I'm going to assume that this is just a rant and I can understand the need to rant.
However, if this is more than a rant I have to say that you can't expect your in-laws to come fix things in your house/take care of your kids just because they live close to you. When people help out it's a gift...not something you're entitled to. Also...you can't force your daughter to babysit your son and you can't be mad if she doesn't want to. It wasn't her choice to have that child.
I can be sympathetic to the frustrations of life and I'm sorry that you're husband is far away. I honestly wish you a few stress-free days. Feel better!
LOL, I wish the anon above had been around when my mom was making me look after my kid brothers!
Know what made me agree to do it? Money. And power.
Seriously--my parents paid me a very token rate, much less than a non-family babysitter, but at least I could save up to buy myself a book or something.
The power was the kicker though. My parents put me in charge of the house and backed it up with threats, so my brothers quickly learned that if they didn't obey me there'd be hell to pay when Mom and Dad got home. Since I wanted to set myself apart from the kids, I took the deal.
Wishing you the best of luck--here's hoping your daughter's as greedy and ambitious as I was :)
Actually, I disagree with Anon 2:11 - there are some instances where an older sibling very much is required to help out around the house, including watching a younger sibling. This is what family life is (or should be) about - working together, often outside our comfort zone or in prescribed/proscribed roles, to the betterment of the family as a whole. Happy mom = happy family. Child with responsibility and self-respect and pride from that responsibility = happy family. Siblings hanging out together = tighter familial bond (sometimes!) = happy family. And sometimes, it just sucks to help, but that's life too. Sometimes, life really just plain sucks. :)
And as for the useless in-laws - if they have the ability to help, and if they care for their son at all in a self-less manner, I would expect that they would at least ask if there is something they could do, so that they could help their son by helping his family (their extended family) while he is off serving his country.
Anon at 2:11,
Thanks for the well wish and Yes this was a rant, but, there is more to it. I did not EXPECT my in-laws to do anything except love my children, which they do not do. I would have appreciated any smidgen of help for them, had they offered, but they do not even call to see how the kids are. My husband, their son/step-son is in a war zone.
As for my daughter, she could watch her brother so I could go to the store, but she doesn't. I even offered to pay her and she refused. I HAD to watch my brother growing up, it teaches responsiblity and no it was not her choice but she can do it.
About your kids: Yes, your daughter will realize in a few years how important you teaching her responsibility was (and maybe she knows already and just doesn't want to admit it, that's the way I was as a teenager). I think your kids are old enough to understand that they need to help you. Not just by doing the dishes but also by giving you a break.
I'd recommend having a long, nice talk with them, explaining how lonely you feel without the help of their father (at the same time of course showing understanding that they are in a very difficult situation as well). Maybe everyone of you can have a few minutes to tell the others how they need help and all of you can think up ways to help each other a little bit more.
About your in-laws: If you want help from them, you need to ask for it. If you don't really want it and just wanted to rant a little about them never helping that's fine, I understand. But you should really think about whether you could accept help from them. And if it doesn't cost you too much selfrespect to accept it, then you should ask for it. I myself would rather bite off my tongue than asking my in-laws for help, but that's really not a sensible attitude. :) Of course you have to be polite and civil around them, but I guess you are anyways. So why not try to get a bit of advantage by them living near?
By the way: You ARE wonder woman! You are so strong and whatever you can do, is ENOUGH! Although I only have one kid so far (almost two years old) and my hubby is a great help, I understand you. I often feel like everyone dumps their s... on me because they think I can manage anything. And I believe I have to do everything perfect: being perfect as a mom, as a wife, as a housekeeper and in my job.
You don't have to be perfect. You are as good a mother and wife as anyone could be!
I'm sending you a hug from halfway across the world and wishing you all the best! (Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.)
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