Posted by Anonymous.
I have this friend...
She has a house. A large house with a large yard in a nice neighbourhood. A house that is fully furnished with nice things.
She has a job. A good job with security and summers off that pays well and offers her advancement with even better pay.
She is healthy. Pops the occasional med for the occasional migraine, but nothing major.
She has a partner who loves her and they married last year at a celebration where they were toasted by many friends and family members and gifted with many items.
She and her partner take vacations every year and want for nothing material.
She and her partner also have many years of education behind them, all paid in full.
And she has nothing good to say.
So it is hard for me to listen to her bitch about the state of their back yard when I don't have a backyard.
And it is hard to listen to them communicate with one another in snippy comments and whiny voices.
It is hard to understand why she feels so down-trodden. Why she edited her FaceBook status to read "...bad things happen to good people, I am now wondering why I am the good people that this stuff continuously happens to."
For the record, this is not a pissing contest. This is not about who has it worse off and wanting to come out ahead.
What this is about is, well...
thinking before you complain to a friend that you will not be able to take a 2-week vacation overseas this year when she is lucky to find the time and the gas money to take a road trip to visit family.
not bitching about how hard your union-protected job is as your friend struggles to find a job that will pay more than her unemployment benefits and support both her and her preschool-aged daughter.
being grateful that you will one day pay off the mortgage on the gorgeous home that you own when your friend isn't sure how she is going to pay rent in a couple of months.
being thankful for the husband who appears to love you unconditionally and making a point to mention his strengths, instead of just his weaknesses, to a friend who left an emotionally abusive marriage
keeping your mouth shut and your eyes open as your friend struggles every single day. But doesn't ask for help. And offers her help as and when she can. To whoever needs it. Without condition. Without hesitation.
I don't want pity. I don't a pat on the back. What I want is for this friend to be happy. To recognize all that she has. To recognize that, perhaps, her universe just isn't that bad.
What I don't want is this woman as a friend.