Posted by Anonymous.
I am SO SICK AND TIRED of living paycheck to paycheck.
We try SOOOOO hard and nothing ever changes.
We've been reading the Total Money Makeover (Dave Ramsey) and are committed to starting the process but first we need to work ourselves out of this rut... even just a little bit... we need to free up just a little bit of money each week just to get started... But its always something.... now Corey's work is slowing down as they finish the City Center project and it's freaking me out...
I wish we had some family member or friend (a.k.a. NOT a bank or credit card company) that could/would lend us 5 or 10 thousand. Interest free, of course. Enough to get us TRULY caught up AND a little bit ahead AND in a position to clear up some of the items that make our credit look like crap. Enough that we'd be able to breath and not have to decide which bill should be late this month - the cable or the phone? Enough that we could not worry about catching up and instead be caught up and in a position to make our money work for us instead of the other way around. So that we can take 5 minutes to think about what we WANT to do with our money (responsibly, mind you) and not what we HAVE to do with it. So that for one whole day I don't freak out (even just a little in my own head) about the well-being of my children.
We're trying to make plans to move. We found somewhere to go that can save us $300 a month. But until October we're locked into a lease. We've been in touch with the property manager several times over the course of the last 2 weeks regarding what it would take/cost to break our lease but they keep putting us off. "Email your request." "We're waiting to hear from the homeowner." WHATEVER. IT'S YOUR FLIPPIN' JOB TO KNOW HOW LEASES WORK.
I just want a break.
I'm tired of stressing over it and inadvertently making Corey feel inadequate. I work, too. If ANYone is inadequate it's me. He's the bread-winner. But really I don't think that either of us are inadequate. LEAST OF ALL , COREY. I hate that he takes my frustrations and fears on as his responsibilty. He works SO hard, everyday in the hot hot hot sun of Las Vegas and in the middle of the night if they need him and on weekends if they need him.... he busts his butt and there is NO doubt in my mind that he does it all FOR US. FOR ME. FOR JOSH. FOR CHRISTIAN. He does NONE of it for himself.
We just can't catch a break.
Maybe I shouldn't have pushed for baby #2. But not even this kind of stress will EVER EVER EVER make me regret or second-guess my baby boy. My chunkabutt. My rolly polly. NOTHING. EVER.
I KNOW in my heart of hearts that we CAN do this ourselves. But I can't help but long for a miracle.... even if that miracle comes by in the shape of a loan that we have to repay.