Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Keep Away, Revisited

Posted by Anonymous: an update to Keep Away.

An update to the post that I published here earlier this year: I've ended the relationship with this man. It was honestly the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and it didn't come without a lot of heartache, tears and pain from both of us. I now know that it was not only the right decision for me, it was the right one for him and his family. I realize that he and his kids deserve better than me, and I also deserve better and a situation that I am comfortable with. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on my post, whether I wanted to hear it or not at the time, it's what I needed to hear. Since the time this post was published, I went back and read your comments time and time again, and believe it or not, your words gave me the strength I needed to end this. Sometimes, the words of strangers who don't care about you, are not invested in your life and are just being brutally honest is just what you need to thrust you into reality.

I really miss my old boyfriend, but I'm also really excited about finding a new relationship where I can start from scratch with someone and plan our lives the way that both of us want to. I realize that in my previous post I sounded selfish, immature and self-centered. I don't apologize for these things. You have to be selfish when trying to come to terms with what YOU want. So, again, thank you for your honesty, you never know when your words (no matter how hurtful they may seem at the time) will help someone. And thank you to HerBadMother for giving us this forum!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

that is fabulous. and you are right, you can/should be selfish about your needs and what you want. YOu did the right thing for everyone. I'm really proud of you, it took strength and guts, both to post and to take action :)

Unknown said...

I think this is one of the best posts I have ever read on the internet.

I am SO PROUD OF YOU for doing what was right for you, and for the kids and the ex-boyfriend too.

Good work!
Amy

NGS said...

I'm so happy for you. I can feel through your words how hard a decision it was, but I'm glad you did what was right for everyone (yourself included!).

Barbara said...

I left a comment on the original post, and I have to say that I am glad you made this difficult decision, even though it was clearly very painful for you. I wanted to be harsh the first time, (and I nearly was), but I wasn't, because, at some level, you sounded like you would do the right thing for everyone. Weird, right? But somehow, it came through.

I hope you, your former boyfriend and his children all have a happy, healthy new year and that each of you find what it is you need!

Hayley said...

I also left a "brutal" comment on the previous post. But I am so happy for you. I'm glad that you're looking to the future with a good attitude and expectations that will work for you. You were right about being selfish in this post. Now is the time, hon. Be selfish.

You deserve the best. Don't forget it :)

Mamalang said...

I hoped (and still do) that my comment was compassionate even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear. I'm glad that you were able to take these comments (even the more brutal ones) and see clear to reality. I'm sure it still hurt and was a difficult time. I hope you find the person that makes you happy this year!