Posted by Anonymous.
i had a friend i used to work with. we saw each other every workday. we would go to movies together on the weekend, or maybe just sit and listen to music.
then she moved to the next state over. we still talked a lot by phone. she would come and visit me. (i wouldn't visit her because she lived with her son, his wife and their daughter. i just didn't feel comfortable going into that situation.)
then i moved 2 states away from her. whenever i call her, i hardly ever get a response. she remembers to call at birthdays and some holidays, but not just to say- hi, i was thinking of you, how're you doing. we do exchange gifts at birthdays and christmas.
but i would like a friend who would call me instead of me always calling her. i would like her to initiate the contact. and every time i think of letting her know that i want out of this relationship(?!), she does call. so i think -i'll give her another chance.
i don't make friends easily. in fact she is my only friend (!?). that's one reason i keep hanging with the (?) relationship.
do i let go or keep trying?
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4 comments:
Friendship is about give and take. I think if you feel like you are giving more than she is to the relationship, it might be time to let go a little bit. It doesn't mean you will never talk to her again. It just means maybe she's not #1 anymore, and you look around for someone who lives closer to be friends with. You can still talk to her and exchange gifts, but maybe there are a few other people around you could talk to? Just my suggestions.....
you know there is that old saying, the cliched, "people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime". maybe the distance means that this friendship is now hard to maintain. it happens a lot, you should not feel poorly about this. you can and you SHOULD make other friends. they do not have to be your "best" friend or your "only" friend. you need to go on a friending-spree and see what falls out. i know what you are thinking, but try it. i had to do this myself when i moved to a new city a few years back and it was so very difficult. good luck - you deserve friends.
i agree that you should try to make new friends. but, it can be very hard.
you could, additionally, have a frank talk with your friend--tell her how you feel. perhaps she will want to work harder at your relationship. perhaps she doesn't even realize what she's doing.
good luck.
I let mine go. IT was hard, but I survived it.
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