Posted by Anonymous.
My hubz has been off work since mid-May.
At first it was okay... even nice! But now the money is getting low, my patience is wearing thin... he NEEDS to go back to work! We've been married for eleventy-hundred years (okay... 28) and he has always managed to take care of his family, so I probably shouldn't worry... but I am FREAKING OUT! He has spent the last month sitting on the couch watching movie after movie. Once a week he files his unemployment stuff online and every once in awhile he might check his e-mail, but there has been no effort to find a job. I find myself losing respect for him. I'm noticing that I don't look at him with the same love & adoration as I have for the past eleventy-hundred years.
Am I being too picky? Is it just MY problem? I don't know! I have no one to talk to about it. Ugghh! Some times I feel like I just want to run away.
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9 comments:
Could he be depressed?
Based on your description, he's clearly depressed, clinically depressed.
Get him to a doctor. And if he won't go for himself, ask him to do it for you. Because he really, really needs to go in.
Good luck.
I thought depression, as well. He might not even be aware of it himself. If you've been married 28 years he is probably at a perfect age for a mid life crisis.
I have been out of work myself since the end of May (I'm single with 2 kids, so it's vital that I work) and I was doing exactly what your husband is. He's depressed. He needs help, or a project, or... well, he needs something to pull him up and out. Job loss is one of the largest life changes - please continue to be understanding and help him get the help he needs!
Hang in there - I know this is hard!
He sounds depressed, yes, and I feel for you. Depression is incredibly painful for the entire family, not just the one depressed. See if you can get him some help - my love and adoration for my father grew immensely when he acknowledged that he had a problem, got help, and tried so very hard to and successfully got better. Talk to your husband! If he sees you approaching him out of love, he may be open to discussing the problem. If it isn't depression - then he needs to know your concerns also, and step up the 'ol job search or at least do something more than he is doing.
All the best!
I agree with the others. This sounds like classic depression. Also, he may feel as if he's letting you down by not being a good provider. Definitely have him see a doctor ASAP.
I agree that he does sound depressed. He should see a doctor and he should absolutely be looking harder to find a job - I know it's hard - but it sounds like he'll feel so much better when he's working again.
He needs something really big and life changing to happen.
If he won't willingly take charge of himself you'll have to threaten to take away the movies or maybe even you. I'm not saying leave his sorry hind but he needs a wake up call, vacation is over! It's understandable that he is stuck in a rut and the hardest part is getting out of it before you get in any further!
Good luck with this, it's no fun being at someone else's mercy!
I think it's completely understandable that you see him differently. The roles have changed from what you've been used to for the past eleventy-hundred years - and that change would be enough to shake anyone's point of view about another person.
I don't know that he's depressed. Maybe he just needed a break, and now that he's accustomed to it he doesn't know how to get back into the swing of things.
Perhaps he should just be reminded of what a big part of your family's life his support was.
If the problem hasn't been solved by now, I do hope that you guys are on the right path at least.
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