Friday, January 16, 2009

Enough

Posted by Anonymous.

I am not sure how to start this but to say that I have had enough. Enough of your verbal abuse and enough of your selfeshness. We have been together 15 years and I should have left you 14 years ago. It started with you belittling me. Not in front of others but just when you and I were around. Calling me stupid, dumb ass. Later, your abuse came in front of others. We went on a vacation with your friends. You became enraged at me when we were fighting, turned the car around and told me to get the fuck out. Out of your car, life and out of your house. You told me to pack my shit and get the hell out. Left me at the garage where your brother was working. He was kind enough to let me use his car to get home. I did pack my stuff and move back in with my parents.After you left me at the roadside, you got back in your car and went on that vacation with your friends for 3 days. Didn't call or see if I moved out. You said that you were sorry and wanted me back. I moved back in with you. You were nice for a while. Then the belittling began again. The cleaning wasn't good enough and I just did not do things right for you. I thought that things would change. We went to counseling and things got a little better. We had a child and got married because of that child.

Then the partying began. Once we had a baby you couldn't get enough of the partying. Anything to get away. You began spending more and more time with friends. Pretty much every weekend you would be out at the bars with friends or out with friends brewing beer. I really don't know who exactly you were out with but it doesn't matter any more. I was always at home taking care of things and the kids.This went on with all 3 children.The worst time was when I called the cops because of the abuse. Once again, you became enraged at me. Called me every nasty name in the book.Told me to go fuck myself, packed your things and left. Left me with no job money and alone with the kids. I was so fearful of you that I called the police. The officers suggested that I go to a battered womans shelter and they went out looking for you. Even called your employer. I dropped the charges against you, you came back and apologized The kids know us as hated enemies and that makes me so sad. I am afraid this will scar them for life. 3 years ago we moved out to a rural area at your insistence. You had to have this house. It has been nothing but a personal and financial headache. Sometimes I think that you wanted to come out here to continue your abuse.

The final straw for me was when you told our son what a fucking bitch I was on our vacation this year, the vacation that I paid for.This is not the first time that you have done this with him. You like to pull him aside and tell him what an asshole I am, how stupid I am, etc. Unfortunately for you, he tells me everything that you say about me.I am so ashamed that I have let this go on this long. No one knows how bad this has become. Now, 15 years and 3 kids later all we do is fight. I am working, going to school and providing for myself. I have saved enough money to file for divorce, put money down on an apartment and finally leave your sorry ass. I am not going to tell you when it will happen either. It will be a surprise By the time I am done I will take half of everything that is yours including equity in the house, 401 K , etc.

17 comments:

Jill said...

I am so happy to hear that you are finally getting away from this awful man. Please stay away this tmie!! Don't ever, ever, ever go back!!

And you might find out if your town's social services programs offerings counseling for children, because they will likely need it.

Stephanie N. said...

You can do it! Good for you for planning it all out.

Shannon said...

I'm so glad that you're leaving him and have proved to yourself that you are strong enough to do so!

To respect yourself is the best thing you can do for you and your children.

J said...

Good Luck. Keep us posted. ((HUGS)) You are a strong woman!!

Nissa Nicole said...

It will scar your kids for life. I know because I *was* a kid of this same situation. And it's tragic because you're right - you should have left before. But now you're here, and thankfully, THANK GOD you're leaving now while you and your children still have a great chance to live happy, positive lives. My mother was not so lucky.

The most important thing I can say to you is to always honest with your children about your choices. They have to know that you're making a change for the better, and that yours and obviously more importantly, your husband's, behavior was unacceptable. You've got the time to reprogram important pieces.

I don't want to be too hard or mean about any of this, It just breaks my heart and infuriates me when I read stories like this, because I think of my mother and my siblings. YOU DESERVE MORE. Keep moving forward and staying strong - I will be hoping for you.

Anonymous said...

Hooray! ***Hugs for you and kiddies***

Anonymous said...

Run. And never look back. You can do it.

Anonymous said...

I wish, really wish, I had your courage, maybe someday I will and it won't be too late for me or my kids.

Good luck to you and may God bless you and keep you and your kids safe.

Issas Crazy World said...

Good for you. You can do it. You and your kids deserve so much better.

Ms. Wobbly Bits said...

Yes! Get out and never look back. That jerk deserves everything you throw his way and more!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you finally have the strength and resources to get out. But I still shake my head at the fact that you had two more kids with this guy.

Anonymous said...

Leave and never look back. I was in an abusive relationship and left him when the kids were 1 and 3. Best thing I ever did. He died last year from alcohol related pancreatitis. My oldest child is now in therapy because he witnessed too much at such a young age. Be prepared to support your kids emotionally, they will need it as will you. Stay strong!

Anonymous said...

Good for you! Stay strong! Keep us updated.

Anonymous said...

Good luck. Don't forget to use what you get in the divorce and pay for therapy for your kids. The 401(k) is worth far less than their emotional well-being.

Anonymous said...

Good for you! My mother will still not leave my father. She has been in that situation for over 30 years. I wish she had your courage. She never protected my sister and I from all of that. You are doing what's right for your kids.

Anonymous said...

Why did you go back to him the first time he was abusive to you?

Anonymous said...

you. go. girl.