Posted by Anonymous.
You were not invited. In fact, you were specifically told to wait, perhaps until the holidays when your son could be here to "entertain" you. Because I, I would have a brand new baby and I would need my space. Now was too soon. I have a new baby, later would be better. I was very clear with you - visitors make me uncomfortable, and you especially so because you dislike and are afraid of my dogs, who are my family. You flinch when they brush past you, and you make no secret about how they are "dirty, expensive and time consuming." They are my family, and have been so long before your son was my family. You've never liked them, or me, and you are very clear about that. But now that there is a baby, MY baby - you seem to feel the need to play this grandma gig to the hilt. And yet, you don't like me, and I am her mother. Right now, where she goes, I go. We are still virtually one being, with her wholly dependent on me. You offer to "help" but your idea of helping is sitting on the couch and staring at the wall. You are the most helpless person I've ever met. How do you plan to help me? By telling me what you think I'm doing wrong? I don't need your picking..........
I told you not to come. I told you to wait. To please, give me some time to heal from the ordeal of birth both physically and mentally. How could we have known the baby would be late, I would have a c-section, and that we would both be so so very exhausted? Somehow, I did know. I knew that I would need time to recover and get my feet under me for this "mom thing." I knew that I would need more than three or four weeks to be comfortable enough, healed enough, to have you here. This is why I asked you not to come right away. Because I was having a baby. I knew I would need more time. I would need to be on top of things to deal with you and your dislike and disdain for me and my dogs. Now, I have a three week old baby. I am not on top of anything. It's amazing I showered today. And yet, you are here, in my home, in my personal space. You ignored me, completely blew off my request for space and time and came anyway. You wonder now why I am distant and a touch rude? Perhaps because I have a three week old baby and I'm exhausted. And because you were here, demanding to see and be seen - I missed out on a three hour nap this afternoon. I am exhausted, have I mentioned that I am EXHAUSTED? I'm lacking the ability to cope with normal stress, with everyday activities, let alone the added pressure of having someone in my home who dislikes me so much.
You have begun a battle of wills that I will win. I am her mother, I am his wife. This is MY family and you don't get to say how it is run. You do not get to parade my daughter around like she is some prize pig at a fair. You do not get any credit for who she is. She is mine, not yours. I carried her all these months. I am the one who gets up in the middle of the night to feed her and cuddle her back to sleep. And he may have been yours long ago, but he is mine now. You've never been my friend, have been nothing but judgmental and cruel, and NOW you want to play the doting grandmother? I think not. I feel ignored, manipulated, railroaded, and just plain pissed off. You and I will never see eye to eye, mostly because you see only what you want, and hear only what you want. I will never understand someone who is so very afraid of animals, someone who is so intolerant of other's beliefs. You will never be able to comprehend the depth of the relationships I have with my icky old dogs. How much they bring to our lives and what they mean to us. That they are an integral part of my being. That yes, we are going to let her "get all doggie." You will never understand me, you never even try. Which is fine, because I no longer have any desire to try to create a relationship with you. No desire to do the "family thing" with you, and no desire to listen to your venom. You do, however, have to respect that this is OUR life, not yours, or you will be promptly removed from any aspect of it. I understand you, I just don't like you, but at least I can play nicely with others. I can put on the happy face and pretend that I am not enraged. Most of the time. Not this time. This time I will let you feel my anger and disdain. Because I am tired, so very, very tired - and here you are, in my face.
I told you not to come - because I was having a baby. And you came anyway - because I was having a baby.