Keep Your Friends Close - And Your Enemies Closer

Posted by Anonymous.

I first met Lorna when we were both in labour in the hospital. She had her daughter two hours before I had my son, and that really set the tone for our friendship.

Being friends with Lorna was like going back to high school and having the most popular, pretty girl suddenly decide she wants you as a friend. You can't really understand why, you're not part of the popular set, but you're too flattered to really think it through and wonder if being friends with her is a good idea.

As the years passed we would get together every now and then, but it's not something I really enjoyed - Lorna was always so perfect in every way, and she loved to let me know it. She could be alternately interesting and wonderful, then turn patronizing and mean. Slowly our friendship dwindled until we stopped seeing one another altogether.

Then she phoned me out of the blue - she was interviewing for my old job and wanted the real scoop on my boss. I told her to steer clear and she did. A couple years later I was looking for a job close to home, so I phoned her and asked whether her place was hiring. She informed me that it wasn't at that time, and that I would not be paid well with my experience anyway. Then a few months later she called me and said there was an opening, and I should drop off my resume. I did so and was hired very quickly.

It was strange working with Lorna - again, she alternated between being my best buddy and trying to embarass me. I made more money than her because I had post-secondary education, which she did not. She let me know on more than one occassion that this urked her, even though she could easily have chosen to attain her designation as well. I remember failing an exam once and her asking me if I was ashamed. This was the type of person she was. She also had her little group of people she liked and if you didn't belong to this group, beware. She had a charm that made everyone want to be her friend, but there was a price to pay. She once told me "keep your friends close and your enemies closer".

She worked very closely with one of the bosses - it became very apparent after a while that they were having an affair (they were both married). Finally, they decided to leave the company and open their own place. After a few months they asked me to join them - I was wary but thought it could be a good move for me career wise. So I made the move. On my first day there I knew I was doomed - the boss (her now boyfriend) told me that he was not "kicking Lorna out of her office" (apparently there was only one office - I had no idea he would need to ask her to vacate it, this was just the terms of our agreement) nor did he have any work for me (yet this was the day we both agreed I would start). I was very upset and he could see it, so he quickly found some work and asked Lorna to move.

At one point on my first day I asked Lorna if there was a spare calendar I could have - she abruptly told me she was not my secretary and that I would have to find one myself but that the firm would not pay for it.

I struggled along for 5 months telling myself it would get better, and then my father-in-law had a heart attack. He was dying and I needed to be at the hospital. I phoned my boss and he was completely supportive and told me to take the next week off. I also had an exam to write which I had been studying months for - my husband urged me to write the exam even with all the upset that was going on. They day of the exam (3 days after my father-in-law passed away), Lorna phones me at home to ask why I wasn't at work and that piles of work were building up and that the boss was not happy about it. I immediately told Lorna I wanted to talk to the boss, and she said he was out of the office and would call me back. He called back 2 hours later and said that he completely supported that Lorna called me and what she said. I was speechless! When I asked him about the fact he and I agreed that it would be ok for me to be off for a while to help with the funeral arrangements and write the exam, he just kept repeating that he supported Lorna.

I knew my time was done there, and I came into the office and told him so. I finished there a week later and the boss at my old firm, which is upstairs in the same building, immediately offered me my old job back. I took it - that was 4 years ago and I couldn't be happier that I did. But here's the problem - whenever I see Lorna on the street, she pretends I don't exist. She came upstairs to our firm to drop off a piece of mail and I said hello and she gave me the most evil look. Later I received an email from her stating that "she knew who I really was and to not pretend otherwise".

Keep in mind I left there four years ago. The anger and bitterness that pours off this woman is unbelievable. I know she must be desperately unhappy to act this way. Recently I was crossing the street with my business partner and she was coming towards us - she looked up and said "hello Pat" to him and didn't acknowledge me at all.

This makes it quite uncomfortable every time I see her, which is often because we work in the same building. There is no way I want to be friends with her, but to just live in harmony would be welcome. Should I continue to say hello when I see her (which is what I have been doing, in spite of the fact she completely ignores me). I have no intention of talking to her about this, it just wouldn't work. She dislikes me to my very core because I chose to leave. I guess I'm the exception to her "keep your enemies closer" rule....it's a weird experience as an adult having someone act this way towards you.