Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Expecting, Maybe.

Posted by Anonymous.

I just found out I’m pregnant. I’m 25. I’m employed by a company that offers maternity benefits. I’m a homeowner.

I’m also single and broke. And I live in a very, very small town.

My doctor’s appointment is tomorrow morning, but the three home pregnancy sticks in my desk drawer – each proudly sporting their own pictorial interpretation of hCG – two bars, a plus sign and a thoughtfully bilingual “Pregnant/Enceinte,” – tell me what I’ve known since my nipples began begging for a cool cloth and my legs couldn’t shake that itchy-from-the-inside out feeling.

Five weeks, by my count.

Two more until I can hit up the Morgentaler clinic.

Maybe.

Because when I watched that first stick form one line, then two, it was all I could do to keep the smile off my face.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Much luck with your decision...

Jody said...

After reading your last sentence, I want to say congratulations to you. I am sure it is scary for you, but your first reaction was one of happiness. So I am happy for you.

ewe are here said...

Wow. I have no advice, and I don't envy your situation. But I do wish you peace and joy whatever you decide.

Good luck.

Shelby said...

Good luck with your decision, I know it won't be an easy one.

Just do what's right for YOU, and remember that everyone else, except your and your baby (should you choose to have it), doesn't matter. It's YOUR life, and you have to live it the way you want.

Gina said...

It's an awful decision to have to make, but it sounds like you are happy about it, but worried about the external stuff, like money, marital status, and public opinion.

As for public opinion - screw 'em. Who cares what anyone thinks. The judgey types will always find something to judge you for - if not this, then something else.

As for marital status - there are a lot of happy, healthy children of single moms and a lot of sad, neglected, abused children of 2 parent families.

As for money - well, that's a hard one - it's a real issue and you are right to consider it. but there are options and services and help you can get if you really want to make it work.

Make the decision based on what makes you happy. Whatever you decide - it's YOUR choice - don't worry about what others think either way.

Jaden Paige said...

I was going to say pretty much the same thing Gina said, except she said it with more eloquence than I could.

Do what feels right to YOU. What will make YOU happiest in the end. This is the type of decision you definitely don't want to make based on anyone else's opinion. *hugs* to you, my friend. Best of luck with your choice :) I know how hard it can be to make...

Anonymous said...

Gina's comments are great!

Choosing to have the baby and choosing to keep the baby are two different decisions. I have been trying to get pregnant for a year now, to no avail. I am starting to get scared that I won't ever. So if I can't have my own baby, I hope someone out there who can't take care of their baby will let me.

Your instinct to be happy was a good instinct.

Wishing you all the best in your situation, whatever you decide. xo

Diane said...

I was a couple of years younger than you when I had my daughter. I was broke with no insurance. I NEVER regretted having my daughter. My mom helped me by babysitting so that I could work and finish college. Almost all of her clothing came from garage sales. Small town here also. Don't worry if anyone talks. They don't matter. All that matters is you and your baby. I hope things go well for you!

Anonymous said...

I've been in this place, but I was in a relationship at the time....I tossed the idea of the "A" word back and forth several times and a few weeks later miscarried. I was 21, had a full time job with benefits but my boyfriend lived 3 hours away and had no job. I guess it wasn't meant to be then, but maybe someday it will be.

Good luck with your decision and I agree, screw what other people think! Its your life.

Anonymous said...

Chances are better that you'll regret the baby you didn't have than the one you did. You'll be to busy loving him/her.

So what if he stars are not all lined up. Your last line said it all. I was there, almost 4 years ago. Life has never been better.