Friday, November 19, 2010


Posted by Anonymous.

Its 11:23 p.m. I've spent all day, and most of the evening preparing for my son's birthday. You joined me at the store only because you seen I had done my hair. God forbid anyone hit on me, right? It's been five years, and I hate you. I utterly detest you. In fact, I hardly doubt I ever had any feelings other than resentment towards you.

You moved into my life swiftly those five years ago: pretending to be some knight in shining armor. You have amounted to nothing more than demonic. I care not for your "mental" problems, your upbringing, or your addictions. Everything that has gone wrong in your life has been someone else's fault- but mainly, mine- even at times where I couldn't have possibly been there and had any saying in your life- the fault has still yet... been mine.

You tell everyone I'm crazy, disturbed, and have various mental problems. You even tell this to my kids. Contrary to your pathetic words, it is YOU that is disturbed and crazy. You stripped me of the polite, kind and caring human being I was once. There is not one part of my life you haven't touched upon and made fun of; even straight down to my personality. It is you, that is crazy.

You live your life pretending you are something more than you really are. The words "mundane and ordinary" cannot and will not describe you. You announced that your coworkers declared you a Saint. It is you, that is crazy.

You spend every ounce of your free time retarding yourself with video games. I used to argue for your attentions. What for? It is you, that is crazy.

I fought a good fight against you, but I surrender. I have no strength left in me to fight your madness. It is you, that is crazy.

I smile, laugh inside even- knowing that in the end, you will be stripped of every ounce of control you have over me. For it is me that is smarter.

You work. You play video games. You insult, you rant, you rave and you unleash hell through this house. It is YOU that is crazy.

And while you're busy doing that, I'm getting set to go- leave the confines you have shackled me in. And it will be YOU that does in fact, go crazy.

You haven't brainwashed me, but I can let you believe you have. Besides, doing so puts a smile on that face of yours I have grown to hate.

I can bite my tongue and stagger away from your unbelievable words. You? You can't. YOU are pathetic and weak, not me.

You believe yourself a non abuser because you have never hit me. The narcissist in you prides yourself on that.

I get to go on- and live my life. You? You get to wallow in your self pity being alone with yourself- trying to find anyone that will play your game.

Your supply has run short. Your cycles bring on adult tantrums. And still yet, I privately laugh at you.

By the time I am done firing back at you, you narcissistic abuser- the house will be empty.

All that will be heard is nothing. You.. you go live with that. I won't have to.


Anonymous said...

Standing. Applauding wildly!

Well done. Well done. :)

Anonymous said...

You go, girl!!! Keep being strong and make a life for yourself and your kid(s). Be smart and safe when you leave.

Lizzie said...

I'm three years out from leaving a man that could have been the twin of the one you describe. I spent a year planning my exit, faking tears, pretending to be hurt, pretending to buy in to the stupid, painful, manipulative games, and pretending to be scared of him.
The joy you are going to experience will be devastating in its beauty. You will watch your kids run and play with other kids, without fear and without hesitation. You will find joy in wonderful friendships and pursuing your dreams. You will recover and they will recover, and that new steel backbone you have grown through the painful growth of learning that he is wrong and you are wonderful is going to propel you wherever you want to go. See you on the other side, sister, may you enjoy every second of the new life you will build yourself!

Sam said...

Look into Borderline Personality Disorder and see if it fits him. It may eventually give you peace (if it fits) and allow you to make sense of the crazy. From a distance of course. Get the heck out of there!