Posted by HBM.
I have a secret. I can whisper this secret to you, my friends, because that's what we do down here. Tell secrets. Share stories.
I told a story over here, at my sweet friend Leah's house. I'm a little embarassed by it - a lot embarassed by it, tho' the embarassment is bracing, and good - which is why I'm only whispering about it, here, in the dim light and shaggy comfort of the Basement. It's a story from when I was young, very young; from when I didn't know any better, as they say. From when I was striving to know better - about love, about life - and was confused. It's almost painful to look at, but it's honest, and it is - it was - me.
Go, see, and tell me what you think.
But be gentle.
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10 comments:
I'm struck by youthfulness. It embarrases me to admit that I feel light years away from my 20-year-old self, although I'm not that old. Wow. Passion and Principle.
Young. Intense. Felt everything so deeply. Confused.
Weren't we all at that age?
I know I was. :-)
Which makes me suspect that we're not supposed to know better... it's something we learn over time. And experience.
You should be proud that you had strong convictions at such a young age. That you believed you could and would give up something for someone you loved. some "adults" can't even do that.
My God, you were a writer even then.
Oh yes passion and principles.
I miss mine sooo much.
I felt the same angst but could never have come up with the same words.
I thought the same thing when I read your post yesterday that daysgoby did -- man, even in your youth, you could write like the Dickens.
I commented at leahpeah's. You are brave and wonderful, both then and now.
i'm so glad you decided to do this. i wish you could come to a live show so that you could feel the embracing 'we know exactly how you feel right now' feeling. everyone in the audience is sharing and laughing and loving. it's a really great way to let it all go. i hope you can feel it a little from all the readers on my site. xoxo
It doesn't seem too odd to me - only because my only diaries (especially age 17-21) were filled with Oh poor me - and Please love me - and Why doesn't he love me - and so on. I thought your writing was beautiful. I can see it through your own 18 year old eyes. Thanks for sharing it.
Looking back at who we were is such a hard/wonderful thing. It's also empowering/embarrassing. Recovering a document like that shows so much about who we were.. and who we are.
Bravo for sharing!
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